Just simply overwhelmed, with the vast emptiness inside the mind. No more battles to be fought neither on the outside nor inside the convulsions of mind. It seems to have become numb. There is so much of peace today as I sit in the Bhavan after the end of Day 1 Session. The mind, body & the soul feels energized, recharged & rejuvenated. Simply put reincarnated.
The most scintillating part of the course today was the Shava Aasan after the “Sudarshan Kriya”. While lying down, the mind was completely blank. I could see a white background, with Gurudev in Saffron in the foreground. In him I saw a flashing glimpse of Lord Shiva. I can see Shiva when I meditate, but this was the first time that I saw Gurudev. After that my body slowly started to become numb, no reflexes, no sensation, neither of pain nor of soothingness. I fell into the slumber, or rather should I say it was just the awakening, of the soul. After lying down unmoving for about 20 minutes, I felt asleep. After I woke up from my sleep, that I was in for the last 27 years, I was having this overwhelming feeling, no happiness, no sorrow. It was as if I had attained equilibrium.
I went into a revitalization & purification process, where the mind rebooted completely? It was the break that my soul had desperately wanted. Was it the tiredness from doing the “Sudarshan Kriya”, that I went into sleep, or was it the empty mind, with no threads & processes to run.
Had I found the profound way to happiness, was I going to stay forever, now on. After all I had discovered what it took to be happy:
1. Don't expect. Expectations when not met fracture the emotional fragile human spirit
2. The moment to be happy is now. It neither was in the past, nor in the future. I am happy now.
3. Learn from the past, Live in the present, & Plan for the Future.
Feelings come feelings go, but I am feeling, happy, tranquil, solace, contentment, joy, fulfillment, belonging, oneness all at the same time. I hope this happiness, this tranquility & feel goodness doesn't wither. I hope the feelings stay on forever & ever & ever. The feelings of tranquility & contentment.
Art of Living Day 2
My day began at 5:30 am. The day was very special, it being Krishna Janamashtami (Birth of Lord Krishna) Even though I slept later in the night, the mind was still afresh filled with a lot of vigor & energy. It so happens when there is a lot of adrenalin rush, there is a freshness within, even though the body is badly tired. With that freshness of the mind I could climb even the Himalayas touch the pinnacle, & come down running bare foot.
Such is the power of the subconscious mind; it can make wonders for you. This explains how the Rishi Munis (Saints) in the past used to penance for ages, without even a feet of cloth covering their body, & lasting without food & water for ages. They could even communicate with the planets & the heavenly abode without even the use of satellites, or communication gadgets. They could traverse the whole space in their minds, with the power of the sun conscious.
I was back at the Bhakti Vishala (Devotees Classroom) to begin the Karmic Yoga session. But our Guru (Radha Ji), took us to the open lawn near the open Amphitheatre. The carpet of grass covered it, along with the, moistness from the dew drops. The sky never looked so beautiful with the clouds trying to embrace & fuse into each other. The wind flew swaying the hair sideways. Somewhere far off the birds were chirping, as if singing a melodious song in a chorus. “Mother earth is calling, Are you listening?” Morning never had been so beautiful & serene to me, but today it was, because I was adoring every speck of nature paying attention to every minute detail around me.
We began our warm up, with joint exercise, & muscles flexing exercises. We laughed like maniacs releasing the smile endorphins, catalyzed other hormones. Because of the loud roar of laughter the clouds couldn't hold their endorphins either & started to down pour on us. Our laughter resonated & reverberated with the clouds & they reciprocated with the drizzle.
We moved on to the BhaktiVishala, to begin our Yogic Session. The session was followed with some pondering & soul searching. We revised the simple principles to lead a happy life to which we often turn a blind eye, or hush them under the carpet:
1. Take responsibility. You are responsible for your actions & in actions both. Responsibility gives a sense of oneness & belonging.
2. Do things with 100%, & you will love everythinhg that you do.
3. All that happens is by your own doing.
4. Learn to accept people the way they are. Also learn to let go, of them, don’t just hold on to something that’s not yours.
5. Don't be opinioned about people. Never make judgments about people too fast & too soon.
The session continued till noon with virtuous & enlightening knowledge. It was noon, & time to disassemble for the lunch. But before that, it was the time to get our Nivedyam (Prasadam). All of us got a grape each, & were asked not to eat it. We all closed our eyes, popped the grain of grape in, rolling it in the mouth feeling its texture, richness, softness & mushiness. It felt as if it was some precious pearl in my mouth. I had never before felt so much richness eccentric to a single grain of grape. I took a bite out of it with full consciousness, one after the other gulping it down my food pipe in 4-5 minutes. I felt so contented & satisfied. I was already satiated, not feeling hungry at all, felt as if I was already fed for days altogether. Alternatively I could have consumed a whole bunch of grapes but totally unaware of its texture, smoothness, richness, juiciness. I really relished this one grape. We also have abundant richness inside, like the grape, but aren’t aware of it, or keep on ignoring it thinking the external world’s roughness will bruise this richness.
After the session was over, I went on to the Bhavan again in the evening. There I was in my quiet to look for some answers. I didn’t get all the answers, but at least I could see the guiding light. The questions echoed inside me tossing up & down, sliding side to side relentlessly, but the mind was calm & at complete peace. Some questions got answered by self introspecting & the way to find other answers was paved on. The soot inside was blowing away, cleansing the mind & the thoughts.
I thought we always run after happiness, but we aren’t happy all the time, some part of it is sadness also. That is the balancing act that keeps things in equilibrium. But yes no matter what, whether happiness or sadness, we can stay contented, & satisfied, with whatever life offers.
Session had finished for the day, & it was time for Satsang (the company of the truth & the pure). Gurudev himself presided over the satsang. It was going to be a special satsang on account of Krishna Janamashtami. Folk dance performances were delivered by small kids on the Carnatic music, followed by folk dances by Guajarati folks. Guruji even shattered the curd filled (actually chocolates filled), earthen pot, which Lord Krsna used to break as a kid. This has been the practice since the last 5149 years, ever since Krsna's birth. The Satsang went on with melodious & soul touching Bhajans (religious good songs).
It was dusk & time for dinner, I headed straight to Kitchen with a handful of friends: Arjun, Abhishek, Vikash, Yogesh. We volunteered to serve food to the Bhakt’s (Devotees). There was a long queue of the people waiting for the food, & I couldn’t see much of an action in the kitchen. I presumed that the food was over, & even told one of my fellows that the food was over. But to my amazement what I saw was that trolleys full of food are coming out of the kitchen. Truly said that in the house of the lord there can be scarcity of nothing. It increased my faith even more. We folks worked in the kitchen till late, just before the stalls were going to close. It was our turn to have something on our palette but I wasn’t feeling hungry at all. There was so much contentment & joy in serving food to others that I forgot completely about my own hunger. It was a tiring job, but the enthusiasm level was the same. The spirit hadn’t damned a bit, & it never can if we serve those in need. After dinner I retired to my room. We had a brief discussion about very interesting topics ranging from life to death, mythology, science, & what not. We room mates vowed not to have Tea & Coffee for at least 1 month.
Art of Living Day 3
The day began with the Yogic Session, after which we proceeded for the breakfast. The food being served is really good. Satvik Bhojan (pure food) is served at the Ashram free of cost. The food satiates each & every taste bud, & even fills the belly with a lot of satisfaction & contentment. Thereafter the session began post lunch, & we could ponder over some of the soul tickling questions, that we never even thought about:
1. When did you come to this earth?
2. How long do you intend to stay here?
3. What are your plans to make this world better?
The session had in the curriculum the 7 elements that made up a human, their importance & how to control that: Body / Mind / Soul / Intellect/ Ego / Memory /....
The session went on with usual breaks in between followed by Sudarshan Kriya & Pranayam. We learnt that we shouldn’t be a football of other's opinions. If people know what annoys us, they just have to come to us, do act of annoyance, & with the wink of an eye, we are annoyed & bubbling with anger. Don’t give your remote control to people, which they can press & the channel on your face turns from happiness to sadness. We should not give people opportunity to do so with us, & this is possible if we don't take their comments or acts too personally or hush it off with laughter & make fun of the whole thing. Next time no matter how hard they try, your anger lid won't open, & hence you won’t be a football in their feet.
JAI GURUDEV
1. Together we will share prosperity & livelihood
Cobalt and Umber and Ultramarine
Padma was the most desired thing for me during my prime. I used to shout atop Mountains, crevasses, cliffs her sacred name, like a verse "Padma, Padma". She would reiterate by shouting back her name "Padma, Padma", which would eventually fade out. People told me that it was the echo. But, I knew that it wasn't an echo, it was my beloved calling back to me making me feel her omnipresence. 
The rising Sun, the morning Dew,
You are the one I have sought from the master 
Your serene thoughts racing all across my mind
Yesterday was the rocky mountain
Passion’s flowing in my blood thru my nerves 
Why does my heart sink on losing sight of you?
Well marriage as you know is all about dancing, singing, indulging in food, looking beautiful, meeting people, cracking jokes, having fun & loads of preparation. To make this scoop, all the ingredients have to be put in the right quantities. Kashmiri marriages last long, real long. This big fat marriage affair could last for anywhere from 4 days to 20 days. The various ceremonies that have to carried forth are the:
Pain, a somatic sensation of acute discomfort, emotional distress or a physical hurt. Contrary to the belief that pain ruptures & devastates people, pain is actually an adhesive that binds people together. Pain gives people a chance to stand up in unison & in sync against the stimuli causing the pain. It works as a filler to plug in the cracks & crevices of a strained relationship. Pain is also a dope that gives people a high. Pain is also a way to gain empathy, compassion, affiliation, love & attention. It brings out the best in the pain inflicted individual & his empathizers. 
For some pain may also be a way of life, as is the case of the religious cult sects, who inflict pain on themselves, as a way to achieve godliness. Pain is also an antidote that keeps us grounded to earth. Absence of pain would make us sick, mad & into a frenzied fanatic. The pain comes to destroy the phase of happiness so that a new cycle of happiness could begun, & that we would cherish & value the moments of happiness & tranquility in our lives. Pain also leads us to subdue to the supreme, or the inner self. Subjugating & surrendering to the powerful force inside us & around us, leading us towards righteousness & virtuousness. It induces fear in us, the fear of being punished if we didn't abide by the rulebook of the inner conscious or that of the truth. Pain is aptly an antidote rather than the posion itself.
Just simply overwhelmed, with the vast emptiness inside the mind. No more battles to be fought neither on the outside nor inside the convulsions of mind. It seems to have become numb. There is so much of peace today as I sit in the Bhavan after the end of Day 1 Session. The mind, body & the soul feels energized, recharged & rejuvenated. Simply put reincarnated.
Butterfly, one of the most enchanting creations of God, full of vigor, brilliance, & vibrancy. Its beauty serenading the eyes, enchanting the heart, & satiating the soul with joy & contentment. Swinging & swirling as if intoxicated with nectar. Wings as if dancing, to the tune of the whistling wind, fluttering & cajoling. The miniscule hair on its body giving it, its wonderful color palette. So much that lifts the spirit instantaneously. Full of effervescence & bubbly natured life. Blending into the colors of the flower, while sucking onto its nectar as if an integral part of that flower. So much beauty filled in its each & every part.
