Breaking the Padma Spell

Padma was the most desired thing for me during my prime. I used to shout atop Mountains, crevasses, cliffs her sacred name, like a verse "Padma, Padma". She would reiterate by shouting back her name "Padma, Padma", which would eventually fade out. People told me that it was the echo. But, I knew that it wasn't an echo, it was my beloved calling back to me making me feel her omnipresence.
During rainy days & snowy nights; I missed her in my blanket so bad. I was lonely without her. I loved Padma, she was the Girl in my dreams. I searched for her in every nook & corner of the world, but couldn't find her. She died being the girl of my dreams.
Now since I am 60 I am at all liberty to confess my seduction towards Padma. Today I am going to open the Pandora's Box (Padma's Closet) & reveal all the secrets related to Padma. Padma a cold blooded homo-sapien, a commoner as you & me. She is no royalty; she is as blood & flesh as you & me. Padma term was coined by me for the ilk of all typical Southie girls in Bangalore.

Features:
1. Hair: Smeared with oil; neatly tied; & a Gajra clinging onto it
2. Skin: Dark skinned; no white = no black - bloody confusing brown
3. Face: High on features; nil makeup; traces of talcum powder - or maybe even Atta
4. Eyes: Traces of Kajal; even darker than the Dark knight (oopsy night)
5. Neck: Gold Jewellery covering it; A pendant pendant swaying from one side to another
6. Below Neck: Arrggghhhh Forget about it (Flatron TV's)
7. Typical Figure: 30-28-40 (Breast Waist Hips) - Her figure may give Kim Kadarshian a run for her money - All thanks to the Chawal chawal & more chawal
8. Legs: Skinny akin P.T. Usha's Legs
9. Feet: Let’s not talk about it; Even Krack Cream couldn't fill the crevasses
10. Clothes: Saree; Skirt & Blouse with a Chunni
11. Favorite Colors: Orange with Golden Borden; Brown with Golden Borden; VIBGYOR with Golden Borden; Anything with Golden Borden would do
12. Favorite Dish: Rice with Rasam & Sambar
13. Boyfriends: Nil till date

Characteristics:
1. Strengths: Her Charisma; Dusky Beauty; Rusty Makeup
2. Weaknesses: Craving for Rice; Fairness Creams; Fragrant Oil
3. Motto followed: Simple Living & Highly Freaking
4. Hangs out at: Gardens - (Discs; malls; pubs; etc are a total no no)

Similarities with Ugly Betty:
1. Smelly Body
2. Hairy arm pits
3. Un-waxed hands & legs
4. Her wicked smile
5. Lice infested hair

Fantasies:
1. Wants to see ice (not-rice) once in her life
2. Raise 2-4 kids

Photo Courtesy:
http://tusharanchan.blogspot.com/2010/08/south-indian-girl.html