Sins of a Software Rookie

Most elite professional workforce, with the so-called golden spoon in their mouths isn't all that Glossy & glitzy really. This write-up reflects light off a software rookie, but with no intention what so ever to tarnish image of a software rookies. Software rookies have their own ways of committing sins.

Internet a boon is also a curse in disguise for organizations, where it gets misused for chatting, mass email forwarding, surfing, shopping, booking tickets & what not. A software rookie on an average spends 1-2 hours on chat engines like yahoo messenger, msn, Gtalk etc. The mass email forwarding happens to such a an extend that your mail box sometimes is piled up with heaps of forward mails. There is a good probability that a mail that you have received, you will receive it again. These forwarded range from human psychology, pictures, religious forwards, informational mails, IQ Tests, inspirational stories, jokes to mails as Microsoft Paying offers etc. Some of the mails are really good, & informative, others just fizzle you out.

Other activities are as surfing the web for social networking sites, like Orkut, face book, catching up like a fever within the younger generation? History on a typical computer will easily show 20-50 accessed sites per day. Companies do have network monitors, to monitor traffic flowing to each node on the network, & they can trace what sites have been accessed, amount of downloads / uploads & even peep into your mailboxes, block specific emails to enter your mailbox, or block your send folder from sending some unethical mail. No one can escape these network crawlers. The network administrators even have the rights to discard any mail on the network that we send, or may want to receive.

Gaming is another passion of the software fraternity; whether it be the online gaming, network gaming or desktop gaming. Network games are typically played in after office hours typically between two or more employees.

Work begins relatively after the second half of the day, the first half comprises of socializing with peers, chitchats over coffee, checking emails, sending forwards. The work won’t become infinitesimal & so the rookies have to stay overnight to wash off their sins, of the first half. The fresh rookies sometimes enjoy this. For them there is no catch in going back home, as most of them are outstation candidates, & don’t have a family in their town. With no social life in the external world, they remain confined in their virtual world. Food & cab facility is provided by the company for people working till the night shift. No need to go home & cook for yourself, or do the dishes. At these late hours the conference room phones are also used appropriately to call family, friends, & girl friends, & these calls may sometimes stretch on for hour’s altogether.

Tea Coffee breaks range from 3-8 in a typical day, each ranging from 10-20
Minutes each. So these breaks take up a minimum 1hour, lunch accounts for another hour. Then comes the work part, where most of the code or the pseudo code / documentation / is taken from google, or websites such as open source(gnu), sourceforge.net, techfooksforfree.com, msdn.com to name a few. Once you get to the code that you wanted, all you have to do is port it to your system, i.e. copy paste, & this pilferage software rookies can do efficiently & effectively. Software fraternity strongly believes in Standard Operating Practices, of reusing the code, rather than having to re write the whole code from scratch. Testing & validation people, in extreme cases can go to the extend of fudging the logs, to make them look good, & not to open the Pandora’s box, which in turn could create a lot of furor & hue & cry. Better modify the logs & let the peace prevail. Or maybe trying to maintain the silence before the storm.

Another sin is that of proxy attendance, swiping proxy cards for peers in cases of emergency of even generally. Such absences go unnoticed, & the culprits can’t be easily bought to task, till the time there is no whistle blower on these unethical practices. Some people even go back to office after boozing during office hours.

I belong to this fraternity of high-headed nerds & geeks. Intellectual; fire in the belly, with Bill Gates dreams; of making it big in the real world. This is what goes in the mind of software Engineer. Still they strive & stride to make this world a better place for everyone. There is no dearth of the hard work that they put in when the project schedules demand Asses to sweat it out, without even sighing. Still proud of being a Software rookie.

She Said

She Said "Say those 3 magical words!!"
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I said "Jai Mata Di" :)

Compatibility

Perfect compatibility between 2 people, is like running with 1 earphone each plugged into one of their ears, & the earphones not tripping or falling off.

Sweet sound of music carrying them on its back. Soothing, alluring, & charismatic hopS. Journey of life become a lot easier with these rhythimical hops. Breath racing in sync with that of the other, eyes not losing track, steady pace with heart's pounding pace.

Kiddish & Bullish

Attitude is what all makes the big difference:
I hate running 5kms a day, but I go, just thinking that I want to live a few more years :) Greedy huh

There is a little kid inside us, & the world tries to kill it... Its up to us to kill that kid & be a savage or nurture that kid & relive infancy...
Probably that's why people call me MAD, & I love it that way !!

Don't React

Newton's Third law of motion states that “For every action there is an equal & opposite reaction". Same is true for human reflexes & reactions to different situations & events. Reflex action is the instantaneous reaction of our body to an external stimulus. eg If we touch something hot, we pull back our hand, this is the reflex to heat that tells our hands to retract from the hot surface. Same thing applies to humans too. If we hold the hot plate too long, we will only get burns on our hands. Similarly we should not react unthinkably when in hot circumstances. We should avoid reacting instinctively, without a second thought.

Alternatively we lose our nerve to unbalances situations, & without paying heed to the aftermath, we blind dive into the mud pool. We react to people's comments vociferously & instinctively. In the entire process we hurt others brutally, sometimes more disheartening than the initial assault on us. These hurts are irreparable, & strain healthy relationships in a split second. It happens so spontaneously that before you even know it is all over. The damage is done, the bitterness is spread, and the relationship becomes venomous.

To avert such deadlock situations, the things that people say against us, in a sarcastic & hurting way, should not be taken to heart. There may be 1000 things that people may say to us in a day, if we start losing heart over each one of them, we would soon go into a cardiac arrest. Instead we should laugh it over. We should leverage our selves to such a height that the taunts & sarcasm, is of no concern to us. If someone talks derogatory of us, we usually keep on thinking of it, for hours all together, losing our sleep over it. Our mood is spoilt, & the mind + body gets stuck in a vicious circle. Like we discard the waste veggies after a good cooking session, we should discard all the unwanted negativities. This way, we will stay happy & also emanate lot of positive energies.

Staying quiet & tranquil will give us immense peace & pleasure both on the outside & the inside. One way of achieving this calm nature is Meditation. With constant meditation all the worldly things become petty & trivial. You would simply frown over negativisms, or just laugh them over. There will be lasting peace & no more watering of seeds of anguish, despair, & brawl. Tarnishing & sullying words need not be paid back in unkind & brutality always. Forgiveness is next to Godliness.

Every reaction needs a catalyst to happen, but make sure that you don't act as a catalyst to spark off a fire. So don't ever react to what is being said & done. Even the Vedas speak of the 5 Indriyaas (5 senses), viz. Ankh (Eyes), kaan (Ears), naak (Nose), jivha (Tongue), mann (Body & Soul) that should be kept under control. The tongue is a vital sensory organ to be controlled, because it can otherwise deliver very acidic speeches. Getting a grip on our tongue, helps to keep us in equilibrium. This way we won't even hurt anyone. As is the human tendency, 1000 good deeds may be forgotten but 1 bad act is always remembered.

The mantraa to stay happy also is not to erupt & react to what people say or tell us. We are in complete control of our lives, & our happiness is all in our hands. There can be no external factors that affect our happiness. We should not let people fiddle with us our happiness. Never give out the remote control of your happiness/ sadness into other people’s hands. They would otherwise know which button to press & the channel on our face changes from that of happiness to sadness.

Finally Newton's first law states that: An object in rest stays in rest, & an object in motion remains in motion, until & unless an unbalanced force acts on it. So let peace & wisdom prevails, & don't unbalance the equilibrium by being over reactive, eruptive & acidic.
(Image Courtesy: Amit's Gallery )

What is Love?

When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to get engrossed into everything with full enthusiasm, dedication & passion. True love is the feeling of oneness; belonging & sacrificing everything for the other. Love shows up in all forms, some even small and miniscule, & there has has never been a model, or a parameter to measure it. It is all around us, we just need to see it feel it, sense it & fall in it… Under this strong feeling, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s life, we lead… Love makes boulders into pebbles, thorns into roses, brutalities into caressing, metamorphosing this journey called life. It really makes the journey worth while, enchanting & exciting.

The Cocoon of Love

It was her 28th birthday, & she was not as lonely & aloof as she has been on her 26th Birthday. Then she had nobody around to share her emotions with. Today the nostalgia was surging in her like a high tide. She no more was cold & numb as an ice stalagmite, as she had been then. But she was still a bit low today, because on her special day, Karun wasn’t around. He had some official pre commitments & was travelling. She had no emotions on her face, even though it was an important day for her, her birthday. She knew that the void would be filled up when Karun would come back. She sat back recollecting that how Karun became the most important part of her life, when he never meant anything to her in College. She thoughts perhaps it was her shell, that prevented her from falling in love with him, when in college.

It all started from the college. She hailed from a small suburb somewhere in Himachal, & was the most vied after girl in the college. Aptly put the most beautiful girl in the college. She had sharp features, & drop dead looks, with fair color, slim body, & long hair that flew sideways when she would walk. She was even crowned Miss Fresher in college, unknowingly nominated for it. But, Fashion, faking & glitz was not her cup of tea!! She lived in her own world when in college. Many guys had tried to approach her directly or indirectly, students from Mechanical, Electronics, & Computers, from her batch & even seniors. The juniors didn’t have any choice, but to respectfully call her Mam. She never paid any heed to any of them. After all her Mom had make her to vow, that she will upkeep the family esteem, values & respect, & not fall into any of the murky stuff, of romanticizing & love. She would never let her focus drift from studies to any of these distractions. Her roommates from hostel in the mean time were having a ball game, dating & going around with guys. Soon she got crowned Miss Chui Muii (Touch me not).

For her, college meant no ado & pomp, it was a marathon from the hostel, to the classes, library, and labs. She didn't budge much from this path, not once losing track of what she had come there for; studies. She was not only pretty but also sharp at studies, but clearly beaten by Karun every time, in the semester exams. He was a prodigal wiz kid, hardly seen studying in college, but slogging it out in the hostel. Rumors were galore that he would study for 20 hrs at a stretch. But when it came to fun, he would be the biggest pranksters. Anyways he always got away with those pranks, for his exceptional results in exams. He at times tried to get close to Kanika, but to no avail. Somewhere deep inside he had a fonding for her, even though they had rarely interacted. This desire in him was only smothering, it never ignited fully. He knew proposing Kanika, meant igniting 1000 Tons of TNT (Tri Nitro Toluene). He didn't want to be a scapegoat & to be taken for a ride by her. Other Girls were after his bloody life, but he never got along with any of them.

It was during the last semester that the batch had to work on the final year project. Coincidentally Karun & Kanika decided to work on some encryption algorithms for high risk networks. The project mentor directed them to work in collaboration as a team rather than working alone. While they were executing the project Kanika felt that how much efficient, warm & nice Karun actually was, in contrast to his bully image. She could sense that single handedly she would not be able to do as much, as both of them had done in the project. But most of their interaction was limited to the Project work. Neither did Karun dare to do any romancing, nor would Kanika entertain any such advances or conversations. They both scored well in the project. The desire inside Karun was more provoked to get Kanika by hook or crook, but he never could grab enough courage to do so. His desire to say anything to Kanika would fizzle out, as soon as he saw her.

The college had come to an end, & 4 years had passed like snap of finger for Kanika, but for Karun it had been too much of vigor, nostalgia, highs & lows. During the farewell party, Karun asked Kanika for a dance. At first Kanika turned sideways & refused, but Karun stood there, & said childishly, "I need a partner", & lend out his hand. Kanika stood still for a moment, as if scanning something in her mind, & then she held his hand. They both walked towards the floor. Light music was playing, & both of them started dancing hand in hand. Soon they both set the dance floor on fire, & everyone was wondering this pair's pulsar radiating lot of aura, swaying with the music. Kanika as opposed to her sissy image could dance well. But they were both engrossed in each other, looking into each other’s eyes, holding hands, not caring for the whole world, letting themselves loose completely. It was an enchanting scene for some, & a bouncer for others.

The college was over, all the students bid bye; signed the white shirts with nostalgic, good, bad messages; exchanged contacts, & left to newer greener pastures, for hay & grass. Karun & Kanika had got placed in different software companies, in different cities. For a while the batch mates tried keeping in touch to share their experiences, but soon they became too engrossed in the vicious life, that the mails started dwindling. Everyone got engulfed to prove their mettle, & worth in gold & diamonds. Kanika had a fertile brain, & hence was able to dwell in her career, becoming a Team leader, in just 4 years. She had travelled abroad, had a good lifestyle, money, all necessities of life, but still something was amiss in her life. She knew what it was, but hushed the truth beneath the carpet, trying to shy herself away. The hard faced truth was that she had kept herself in the shell till now, & because of that she was alone, single, isolated & aloof.

One fine day while she was at work in the office, she received a message in her account from a social networking site. It was from Karun, & he had enquired if it was really Kanika, he knew or someone else. She was puzzled at first, how he had found her but even exited to hear from him. She replied instantly. They shared the contact details, & chatted for a while. For rest of the evening she kept looking at her phone, anxious to talk to Karun. Obviously she wasn't going to be the first one to call. She had her own inhibitions & apprehensions, even though Karun was a college pal. He was working in a software company in Techno Commercial Profile, involving a lot of travel, & was actually doing well. Karun’s call didn’t come, so she was back to her usual chores at home.

She went to bed at 11pm & her phone rang at 11:15pm. It was Karun. She got up, brushed her hair with her hands, as if he had come in person. She pounced on the phone, & picked it up. They talked for a while, & he said that he was coming to the town, for some official work. She couldn't believe that, it was happening so fast. But she liked it a lot, Karun was a really mellowed down person now, in contrast to what he used to be in college. He had matured a lot from that nasty college lad image, more finished, subtle, chic & classy. Spoke in an accent in a low pitched tone. There was something in his voice that magnetized Kanika to him. She got out of the bed, & went to the mirror, looking at herself. She exclaimed "No, I can't meet him like this".

First things first, she took an off the next day, & went to the parlor in the morning to get her hair & face done. It was after a while that she was in the parlor, pampering herself. She wasn't a regular there. She came back home, cleaned the home thinking that she would invite him for dinner, rather than feasting outside. She thought “he would anyways be fed up of eating outside during his travelling”. He called her to tell that he would be free by 5pm, & that he would pick her up at 530pm. She was enthralled, & joyous.

Karun came, 15 minutes before time; he looked good in his business attire, & his cute bespectacled face. His face looked more matured with a tinge of innocence to it. He shook hands with her; shared some niceties for a while, & then they walked to a coffee parlor nearby. They sat there chit chatting about work, life, college days, projects, friends, old memories, teachers, canteen, library & what not. Time just slid by, & it was already 8. She offered to cook dinner at home, & Karun unhesitatingly agreed upon it. Before they were about to leave the restaurant, he gave a big Box of Toblerone chocolates to Kanika, her favorite. She was shocked, as to how he knew these were her favorites. He said, he knew about her likes & dislikes right from the college, & hadn't forgotten them since. He was hammering her shell hard now, the shell that she was in, since the last 26 years. The shell was giving way, rupturing & shearing slowly. She could feel; a fresh lease of life. They walked back to Kanika’s Apartment, where she cooked him some nice Himachali delicacies. Karun assisted her in chopping the veggies. They enjoyed the dinner together.

After dinner they went to the park for a light stroll, but now they were discussing only personal things. It was as if the wall had been brought down, & Kanika was talking to her own mirror image. He listened, without interrupting. They walked & talked for a while, & it was time to bid bye for the day. Before leaving he said, "Kanika, I so hard wanted to say this, right in college… I like you a lot". She felt as if her knees had melted; a shine came on her face; 1000 butterflies flying in her stomach; her heart wanting to come out; her breath warmer & faster. She just stood there, he came close & hugged her. Kanika held him in her arms. This butterfly had finally come out of her cocoon, with wings, wanted to fly in love; feeling it; falling in it. He had broken her shell, & instead wowed the cocoon of love, compassion & warmth around her.

When I Slid in her arms

The newspaper banged on my door with a thud, waking me up from my slumber. It was already 15 minutes to 7 & time for me to get out of my cozy, warm bed. I love my sleep & waking up early in the morning has always been a daunting task for me, right from the school days. I wish my bed had an inescapable gravitational pull, just like Bermuda triangle, so as to hold me back not letting me leave its clutches. I wish I could hide in its leaps; folded mazes of the bed sheet & the pillow embracing my head till it was dark again.

The radio went off, with its automatic tuning alarm set to 7am. The song that played was a soul lifting peppy number from the latest block buster movie. I sat on my bed yawning & stretching my arms, wanting to reach out to Naina's Photo clung on the wall, & kiss it. First things first, it was time to wake up Naina too from her deep slumber; an accord between the two of us, that I had to wake her up every morning except Saturdays & Sundays. More than for her, I did it for myself, because I loved to hear her muffled voice in the morning. Her cell phone rang, & she picked it after a couple of rings. She answered "Hello", & her voice was very heavy, she still in doze mode. It took a lot of motivation to wake her up, & when she was up & out of her sheets, it was time to wish “Have a Good Day” & hang on.

I was out of my comfort zone on to take on the real world, with the bear cub slippers that Naina, my Girlfriend had gifted me. The slippers made my shoes look like bear feet but they were really comfortable, & soft on the feet. I headed to the Wash room to get ready & there I was up & ready in 30 minutes. I made some fresh juice in the mixer, & light breakfast for my self. It was already 7:45am, & I had to leave for office in other 15 minutes. Today my itinerary was full & had some important meetings to attend to, for which I had to do some pre presentation arrangements & some last minute editing. It was going to be a challenging day at work, & a tough one too.

While having breakfast, I just scanned through the newspaper. I just flipped through a couple of pages checking on the headlines. There was drought in Punjab, because of meager rainfall. The PMO had declared funds for the drought stricken farmers of Punjab. I scanned the weather section of the newspaper, & the MET (Indian Meteorological Department) had issued, that the skies are clear & it is going to be a very hot day. I had put on the best of my attire, as it was an important client meeting & also planned to meet Naina after the heavy, demanding day. Her appearance itself would lift my soul & spirit with just a snap of the finger. She had surely hypnotized me, with happiness, satisfaction & much more.

I was in the office, & started my day with systemizing the clutter on my desk from the previous day. My desk had been empty, with just a few notes, a few months back, when I joined & today there was no space to keep even my cell phone. It had a stockpile of reports that I had created during the last few months. The desk also had a stack of books, a framed picture of me & Naina, hanging on the corner partition. The day had begun, & soon it was an array of scheduled meetings, presentations, brain storming sessions. It was all happening fast leaving me with not even an inch of bandwidth to go & have a sip a coffee or talk to Naina. She tried reaching me on my cell 4-5 times, & I couldn't even message her back. Thank God she knew of my work commitments & was compassionate not to bug me later in the day, unlike most other girl friends. The Client was happy with the prototype that our design team had developed, exactly as per his needs & specifications. He was more than happy but this was only half the battle won. It was unknown how many more consultants he is consulting, so as to get the most desired & robust design for his product. It was a very aggressive cut throat market there. You take a breather & you would be elbowed out in a split second.

I had a gratifying day, & it was time to wind up. It was already 8pm, & already dark. Ohhh !! I had miserably failed to call Naina, So I picked up the phone, & gave her a call. I could sense that she was quite a bit upset with me, for not even having messaged her once. We decided on the meeting spot, & bang it was just near her place. So I was there at 8:30pm sharp, well on time. She was looking wearied & sheared just like me. But now when we sat & started talking to each other, the excitement returned. Both were rejuvenated, forgetting about the day, we were in the present, neither thinking of the past nor planning for tomorrow. By the time the food arrived we were pepped up, laughing, cracking jokes, & discussing the day, but on a lighter note. Naina had some work commitments for the next day to be executed after the dinner, so we decided that we would make it as fast as possible. The dinner was quick & we were about to depart for the day. I wished we could sit back for some more time, even though we had been sitting there already for the past almost 2 hours.

Time just slid by so fast when Naina was around. I held her hand, & was listening to all that she was saying. Somehow I loved being a mute spectator, just reacting to her talks, with gestures on my face, & not interrupting her in between. She could go on & on till the end of times, & I simply Loved her for her simplicity, innocence & blabbering. She would confide in me for everything, & always made me feel so special. Smile endorphins were flowing naturally.

We were almost done, & started to leave the restaurant. She looked much prettier now, than when we met 2 hours back. I never liked this separation between us, & not to mention, bidding bye to her. But today I just wanted to unify with her, with a sense of oneness & belonging to her. As she said goodbye to me, I held her hand, & she sensed my anxiety. She smiled at me, & opened her arms, for me slide in to them. I slid like a kid in her arms. The embrace was so warm & magnetic, that I felt as if I was reincarnated, with a new lease of life. It was a new beginning, for 2 souls to unify & merge into becoming one.

Achyutam Keshavam

Achyutam Keshavam, Krishna Damodaram
Ram Narayanam, Janaki Vallabham,

Kaun Kehte Hai, Bhagwaan Aate Nahin,
Tum “Meera” Ke Jaise Bulate nahi

Achyutam Keshavam, Krishna Damodaram
Ram Narayanam, Janaki Vallabham,

Kaun Kehte Hai, Bhagwaan Khate Nahin
Ber “Shabri” Ke Jaise Khilate Nahin

Achyutam Keshavam, Krishna Damodaram
Ram Narayanam, Janaki Vallabham,

Kaun Kehte Hai, Bhagwaan Sote Nahin
Maa “Yashoda” Ke Jaise Sulate Nahin

Achyutam Keshavam, Krishna Damodaram
Ram Narayanam, Janaki Vallabham,

Kaun Kehte Hain, Bhagwaan Nachte Nahin
Gopiyon Ke Tarah Tum Nachate Nahin

Achyutam Keshavam, Krishna Damodaram
Ram Narayanam, Janaki Vallabham,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzYhdVjRdBM

If Only

If only you kept your hands on your chest
If only you heard the voice deep within
If only you felt the heart’s pace
If only you saw the aura on your face

Art of Living Course (Day 1)

Just simply overwhelmed, with the vast emptiness inside the mind. No more battles to be fought neither on the outside nor inside the convulsions of mind. It seems to have become numb. There is so much of peace today as I sit in the Bhavan after the end of Day 1 Session. The mind, body & the soul feels energized, recharged & rejuvenated. Simply put reincarnated.

The most scintillating part of the course today was the Shava Aasan after the “Sudarshan Kriya”. While lying down, the mind was completely blank. I could see a white background, with Gurudev in Saffron in the foreground. In him I saw a flashing glimpse of Lord Shiva. I can see Shiva when I meditate, but this was the first time that I saw Gurudev. After that my body slowly started to become numb, no reflexes, no sensation, neither of pain nor of soothingness. I fell into the slumber, or rather should I say it was just the awakening, of the soul. After lying down unmoving for about 20 minutes, I felt asleep. After I woke up from my sleep, that I was in for the last 27 years, I was having this overwhelming feeling, no happiness, no sorrow. It was as if I had attained equilibrium.
I went into a revitalization & purification process, where the mind rebooted completely? It was the break that my soul had desperately wanted. Was it the tiredness from doing the “Sudarshan Kriya”, that I went into sleep, or was it the empty mind, with no threads & processes to run.

Had I found the profound way to happiness, was I going to stay forever, now on. After all I had discovered what it took to be happy:

1. Don't expect. Expectations when not met fracture the emotional fragile human spirit
2. The moment to be happy is now. It neither was in the past, nor in the future. I am happy now.
3. Learn from the past, Live in the present, & Plan for the Future.

Feelings come feelings go, but I am feeling, happy, tranquil, solace, contentment, joy, fulfillment, belonging, oneness all at the same time. I hope this happiness, this tranquility & feel goodness doesn't wither. I hope the feelings stay on forever & ever & ever. The feelings of tranquility & contentment.

Art of Living Day 2
My day began at 5:30 am. The day was very special, it being Krishna Janamashtami (Birth of Lord Krishna) Even though I slept later in the night, the mind was still afresh filled with a lot of vigor & energy. It so happens when there is a lot of adrenalin rush, there is a freshness within, even though the body is badly tired. With that freshness of the mind I could climb even the Himalayas touch the pinnacle, & come down running bare foot.

Such is the power of the subconscious mind; it can make wonders for you. This explains how the Rishi Munis (Saints) in the past used to penance for ages, without even a feet of cloth covering their body, & lasting without food & water for ages. They could even communicate with the planets & the heavenly abode without even the use of satellites, or communication gadgets. They could traverse the whole space in their minds, with the power of the sun conscious.

I was back at the Bhakti Vishala (Devotees Classroom) to begin the Karmic Yoga session. But our Guru (Radha Ji), took us to the open lawn near the open Amphitheatre. The carpet of grass covered it, along with the, moistness from the dew drops. The sky never looked so beautiful with the clouds trying to embrace & fuse into each other. The wind flew swaying the hair sideways. Somewhere far off the birds were chirping, as if singing a melodious song in a chorus. “Mother earth is calling, Are you listening?” Morning never had been so beautiful & serene to me, but today it was, because I was adoring every speck of nature paying attention to every minute detail around me. 

We began our warm up, with joint exercise, & muscles flexing exercises. We laughed like maniacs releasing the smile endorphins, catalyzed other hormones. Because of the loud roar of laughter the clouds couldn't hold their endorphins either & started to down pour on us. Our laughter resonated & reverberated with the clouds & they reciprocated with the drizzle.

We moved on to the BhaktiVishala, to begin our Yogic Session. The session was followed with some pondering & soul searching. We revised the simple principles to lead a happy life to which we often turn a blind eye, or hush them under the carpet:
1. Take responsibility. You are responsible for your actions & in actions both. Responsibility gives a sense of oneness & belonging.
2. Do things with 100%, & you will love everythinhg that you do.
3. All that happens is by your own doing.
4. Learn to accept people the way they are. Also learn to let go, of them, don’t just hold on to something that’s not yours.
5. Don't be opinioned about people. Never make judgments about people too fast & too soon.

The session continued till noon with virtuous & enlightening knowledge. It was noon, & time to disassemble for the lunch. But before that, it was the time to get our Nivedyam (Prasadam). All of us got a grape each, & were asked not to eat it. We all closed our eyes, popped the grain of grape in, rolling it in the mouth feeling its texture, richness, softness & mushiness. It felt as if it was some precious pearl in my mouth. I had never before felt so much richness eccentric to a single grain of grape. I took a bite out of it with full consciousness, one after the other gulping it down my food pipe in 4-5 minutes. I felt so contented & satisfied. I was already satiated, not feeling hungry at all, felt as if I was already fed for days altogether. Alternatively I could have consumed a whole bunch of grapes but totally unaware of its texture, smoothness, richness, juiciness. I really relished this one grape. We also have abundant richness inside, like the grape, but aren’t aware of it, or keep on ignoring it thinking the external world’s roughness will bruise this richness.

After the session was over, I went on to the Bhavan again in the evening. There I was in my quiet to look for some answers. I didn’t get all the answers, but at least I could see the guiding light. The questions echoed inside me tossing up & down, sliding side to side relentlessly, but the mind was calm & at complete peace. Some questions got answered by self introspecting & the way to find other answers was paved on. The soot inside was blowing away, cleansing the mind & the thoughts.

I thought we always run after happiness, but we aren’t happy all the time, some part of it is sadness also. That is the balancing act that keeps things in equilibrium. But yes no matter what, whether happiness or sadness, we can stay contented, & satisfied, with whatever life offers.

Session had finished for the day, & it was time for Satsang (the company of the truth & the pure). Gurudev himself presided over the satsang. It was going to be a special satsang on account of Krishna Janamashtami. Folk dance performances were delivered by small kids on the Carnatic music, followed by folk dances by Guajarati folks. Guruji even shattered the curd filled (actually chocolates filled), earthen pot, which Lord Krsna used to break as a kid. This has been the practice since the last 5149 years, ever since Krsna's birth. The Satsang went on with melodious & soul touching Bhajans (religious good songs).

It was dusk & time for dinner, I headed straight to Kitchen with a handful of friends: Arjun, Abhishek, Vikash, Yogesh. We volunteered to serve food to the Bhakt’s (Devotees). There was a long queue of the people waiting for the food, & I couldn’t see much of an action in the kitchen. I presumed that the food was over, & even told one of my fellows that the food was over. But to my amazement what I saw was that trolleys full of food are coming out of the kitchen. Truly said that in the house of the lord there can be scarcity of nothing. It increased my faith even more. We folks worked in the kitchen till late, just before the stalls were going to close. It was our turn to have something on our palette but I wasn’t feeling hungry at all. There was so much contentment & joy in serving food to others that I forgot completely about my own hunger. It was a tiring job, but the enthusiasm level was the same. The spirit hadn’t damned a bit, & it never can if we serve those in need. After dinner I retired to my room. We had a brief discussion about very interesting topics ranging from life to death, mythology, science, & what not. We room mates vowed not to have Tea & Coffee for at least 1 month.

Art of Living Day 3
The day began with the Yogic Session, after which we proceeded for the breakfast. The food being served is really good. Satvik Bhojan (pure food) is served at the Ashram free of cost. The food satiates each & every taste bud, & even fills the belly with a lot of satisfaction & contentment. Thereafter the session began post lunch, & we could ponder over some of the soul tickling questions, that we never even thought about:
1. When did you come to this earth?
2. How long do you intend to stay here?
3. What are your plans to make this world better?

The session had in the curriculum the 7 elements that made up a human, their importance & how to control that: Body / Mind / Soul / Intellect/ Ego / Memory /....
The session went on with usual breaks in between followed by Sudarshan Kriya & Pranayam. We learnt that we shouldn’t be a football of other's opinions. If people know what annoys us, they just have to come to us, do act of annoyance, & with the wink of an eye, we are annoyed & bubbling with anger. Don’t give your remote control to people, which they can press & the channel on your face turns from happiness to sadness. We should not give people opportunity to do so with us, & this is possible if we don't take their comments or acts too personally or hush it off with laughter & make fun of the whole thing. Next time no matter how hard they try, your anger lid won't open, & hence you won’t be a football in their feet.
JAI GURUDEV

Things to Do Before I Die

From unconsciousness during childhood
To eye opening self realization during adulthood
Transitioning through all shades of black & white
With colors hidden under layers, in quantities just right

Casting my paintbrush on the blank canvas
Strokes taking form & shape without any fuss
Drawing seamlessly across the boundaries
With color vibrant, having their own crease

Building of my own castles
Watering my own greens transforming them into pastures
The tarmac transmuting into a flowerbed
Embracing one & all with open arms

Niceties & courtesies
Offered to comfort & please
Me, humane in all my acts
Plugging nulls & voids of the adversaries

The craving & the wanting to do more,
Exploring the unchartered, initiating new ventures
Preying the opportunity
& grabbing it like vultures

The Very purpose of existence
Meeting the obligations, fulfilling the predetermined duties
Me, just a medium to lay the tarmac
With pebbles, tar & the sand ruck sack

Enduring the edginess to live up to the name
Delivering on expectations, to win the game
Embracing & cherish the good & bad alike
Alighting cautiously after a great hike

Accumulating material gratification
Satiating on all the dreams & desires
Gradually transposing from scratch to lavishing
Keeping firm & grounded even with the riches so ravishing

Lending a hand to the one in need
Pulling up their spirit with the soul freed
Tread the path that's righteous always
Morality & ethics my only guiding rays

Praise just a pat on the bent & aching back
Soothing… yet compelling to go on with the same knack
High on morale, & eyes gleaming with hope
Tough times, just a weathering storm

Failure only making sweat, tears futile
The spirit unscathed, with the same bile
Me calm & poise, treading with an assertive tact
God & conscious watching over my back

Forgiveness for the idiotic defaulters
Compassion just a way of life
Seeking mercy for the committed crimes
Just tranquil felicity at the end of times

14 Days of a Butterfly

Butterfly, one of the most enchanting creations of God, full of vigor, brilliance, & vibrancy. Its beauty serenading the eyes, enchanting the heart, & satiating the soul with joy & contentment. Swinging & swirling as if intoxicated with nectar. Wings as if dancing, to the tune of the whistling wind, fluttering & cajoling. The miniscule hair on its body giving it, its wonderful color palette. So much that lifts the spirit instantaneously. Full of effervescence & bubbly natured life. Blending into the colors of the flower, while sucking onto its nectar as if an integral part of that flower. So much beauty filled in its each & every part.

The egg of a female butterfly hatches to let the offspring come out of its shell. The wings at this stage are folded onto its body. The fluid from its body begins to fill the wings, letting them to spread & taking form. The wings are then left open to dry. Once dry, it springs into action to hop on to the flowers to taste the first suck of nectar.

Ever wondered what the life span of a butterfly is. My honest first impression was that it would be a couple of months. But the truth is that its life span spreads over just a fortnight, mere 14 days. Yet it leads such a beautiful life, even though its days are short. It makes more beauty & meaning in each day of its life, even if it is short lived. Makes those around, happy & fills them with pleasure & joy, soon rest follow suit too.

It is hard to believe that such a beauty is mortal too. Hard to believe yet so true, that this nature’s masterpiece meets rubble one day. Just like all other good things come to end, so does it. However during its entire life span its spreads only beauty, vibrancy, brilliance, happiness, & contentment around. A person can never get bored of watching its playful acts, its hops from one flower to the other. Always dances to the tune of the wind, swinging up & down, right & left, to & fro. It is never concerned about its mortality 14 days forth, & lives its life with so much of ado, beauty, serenity & penchant. Inspiring, attracting & serenading all around.

It is so much engrossed in sucking the nectar out of the flowers, that catching a butterfly is a child’ play. In my childhood days I caught many of them, with bare hands. But always made sure not to harm their fragile wings. The strategy is simple. While the butterfly is sucking on to the nectar, reach out for it in complete silence, & with 2 of your fingers cling on to its wings softly. Don’t apply too much force while holding it, else you may damage the wings, or the color may come off onto your fingers. After I admire its beauty up so close, I used to place it back on to the flowers.

Seeing its beauty would make my jaws drop, in awe & mesmerism. Nature has its own ways of exhibiting beauty. Beauty that is all around us but we are blinded to see it most of the times, being entangled in our own vicious circles. We also miss the beauty within & that on the outside, because we are engrossed with our daily chores. We often fail to appraise this beauty, often fail to make more meaning & beauty out of our life. We simply don’t have time to stop & admire beauty / people, because for us, life moves much faster than the hands of the clock. There is a lot that we miss this way. Perhaps a little metamorphosis in our lifestyle would just be too great a boon for us. Perhaps there is a lot to learn from the beautiful butterflies, who lives only for 14 days, but its beauty stays forever, immortal indeed.
Shali Amit

Inner Beauty

Trampled tampered torn apart
My feelings in this world so hard
Searching & introspecting for the
Righteous way to happiness

Happiness deep rooted embedded & planted
Now Lost, trampled, tampered and grafted
Lying somewhere deep inside
Omnipresent, yet so hard to find

Beauty serenading only the eyes
Goodness reverberating like echoes of cries
Escaping into the dark pitched voids
Sanity and purity, null & devoid

Wearing glitzy brands on the bod
Stylish and urbane classy shod
Inner beauty buried in the thickness of the shroud (Clothes)
Inner reflections no more profound

Orb a wild frenzied hollering howl
Voices choked from reaching the soul
Men choked, fooled, miraged, & camouflaged
Blinded to see the real beauty badged

Whispers oppressed, emotions smothered
Numb reflexes, deaf ears, blinded eyes
Fools pretending to be real
Just another example of the surreal

Impurity implanted, & corrugated self
Ego & superiority complex at a new shelf
Slackness & grunge inside chambered walls
High airs even during great falls

Pinches swerving body,
Yet unscathing the soul
Attaining happiness
No more a big brawl

Now ponder, was better as a kid
Full of innocence, righteousness, & playful acts
Helplessness, & distress were not my toys
Pain only physical, & yet soothing & nice

Shed the fake if you got to be a winner
Peep deep in to the environs & the inner
Glance the Beauty & glitz inside
Then the Orb will be a happy merry ride

Perennial Willow

The Willow had been there ever since I came to senses, it endured so much & yet never bulged or buckled. It stood tall & strong as a pillar from time immemorial. It withstood the wrath wreaked by nature’s fury & the atrocities of the Homo sapiens alike with a grin.

One day while it was peaceful around, with no noises, neither from my inside nor my outside. I overheard the Willow talking to someone. I was wondering if the willow was talking to itself. So I concentrated on, what was being said and done.

Voices came “Hey, Willow how do you bear Scorch of the Sun, the Drench of the Rain, the Drift of the Wind and deflowering in autumn and the Withering in winters? How come you bear the brunt of each season with grit & gumption & yet look so fresh and Youthful? What’s your secrecy of liveliness effervescence?”

The Willow grinned with a brow raised. Willow said “Experiences are either good or bad, mighty or small. You may go through glorifying or agonizing circumstances, some so dominant, penetrating your basic level of existence, consciousness, and well being. It may shatter you completely, but it isn’t capable enough to wipe you off the face of earth. Even after a severe battering & shattering you will come to terms with the hitches & stand tall one day glorious & victorious. That is the secret of my perennial being & eternal solace. Pain only elevates thyself & thy’s soul to Higher Consciousness, energizing the withered & lifeless self with a fresh lease of life.”

Taking the conversation forward, the Willow whispered a Humble Prayer in the Ears of the agonized, perplexed & confused soul. The Prayer was like a magic wand giving immediate relief to the pained & sorrowful soul. Having acquired the requisite blessing from the perennial willow, the soul retaliated by thanking the willow with words of praise & virtuosity. The Soul said “A consciousness prevails in me now, subtle, raw, unrealized, un-Evolved but strong and manifest.”

The Soul had knowledge of the secret of the willow’s, perennial being. The soul bowed down & chanted the words to the supreme, Lord Shiva. Soul sought to imbibe the Shiva Consciousness in itself that resides in every soul alike, but dormant & weak, with the accumulation of the dust & soot. The Soul bowed to the giver of the cosmic energy & quintessential substances for its existence.

Just like the flow of the water over a Parched and brittle piece of land can spring up life around it. From Raising Civilizations to razing civilizations, everything changes, except for the flow of water that stays perennial. Similarly the shower of strength & wisdom can flower a dead soul to life. Whole new breed of feelings (positive) will transcend, eccentric to it. Rest all will be a a phase repetitive, except for the perennial soul. Water & The Lord the only constant, giver & flourisher of life.

The Soul prayer everyday thereon, to give itself, strength of character & of material nature. This positive flow of energy let the soul be in complete control of the circumstances, both mighty or small. The soul steered itself towards enlightenment & the ultimate prowess. All its experiences, thoughtfulness, emotions, thoughts, pains, agonies and feelings, worked together in sync to help the soul attain enlightenment and unimaginable strength. Love & Feelings no more made it weak & bleak. Nothing was forceful enough to lurch it to darkness & disillusionment. The soul now only yearned for Illumination. The Pain, the Agony, the Grief even at its hilt or a hundred megaton forceful might, wouldn’t be able to shake it up. No flood would ever destroy it like it destroys the fertile land.

The soul now understood that Lord is the giver of Life and Rejuvenation to all the Plants after autumn and winters. Soul sough rejuvenation for itself the same way, & also prayer to absolve it of all Pain, Agonies and Rancor. The soul was now full of vigor, strength & a zeal for a fruitful life. It was evolving & making a complete sense of its well being & existence.
And then the blue necked trident holder, from the Himalayas touched the agonized Soul blessing it & turning it into a Perennial Brook, which flowed till Eternity.
Neeru {{nrkaul@yahoo.co.uk))

Jut your Gut

Material, spiritual and tranquil felicity
The Entirety I kept on dreaming of & working upon
Didn't vociferate for the precious
They would come, just a matter of time

Weary I was walking on paseo
Sweat ensuring the sang-froid
Pain challenging to supersede itself
Uncertainty my riding companion
Into the unknown, unraveled and the unexpected

Footslogging an unendurable exercise
The baggage making spine, invertebrate
Crunching & deforming my faith & trust
No gleam of hope, but mirages of the sun

Somatic sensations going numb
The brainy maverick stunned & stuck
Bodily temperature soaring
Frustration peaking the sear

Jut of the gut
Altered Mirage into a fresh water spring
The burning sun into cozy, cam & poise
Pebbles transforming into petals of daisy

Concreting my faith, inducing the spirit back
Concording & cohering me & my ideas
The conscious purifying the soul
Forbidding me from sins and foe's smelling foul

Learnt to differentiate pigs from the bears
Barbarian wolves in the mask of sheep
Biting in retreat when thrown a treat
The foe's acting & smelling foul

Asserting with the open eyes & ears
Sense the gush of blood, feel of the pulse
Scare complexion only to make vulnerable n hostile
Don’t lose nerve and act on impulse

Failures the slumped periods
Slimy, creepy, gloomy, shady
In contrast felicity always a golden mascot
Triumph glorifying the persona

Jut the gut
If need be, as hard as can be
To prevent from draining & drowning
Swimming to the bank, the moment of glorifying and crowning

Marvelous Maverick

Image by cloois via Flickr

I am definitely not a brainiac, but a mere plebeian with usual abilities as the kinfolks around. Still my brain has unexplored, unchartered, boundless capabilities which are beyond mine or someone else’s imagination. It naively belongs to me, alienated, unknown, estranged even from my own. There is so much that it can do, with its capabilities, prowess & the might. Only a miniscule of its capabilities utilized in an entire lifetime, underexploited & underused. A dormant super computer, with magnanimous computing performance, & yet its capability is never measured in giga, tera or peta flops. Largely because its capabilities aren’t known even to the most salutary scientists, leave behind the cold blooded humans. No metrics defined yet to measure its capability, except for measuring its IQ (Intelligence Quotient) or the newly coined EQ (Emotional Quotient). So much in the wilderness, dark, shady, foggy & cloudy environ.

One day our race will get behind this mesh of neurons, breaking the Pandora’s code, thus cracking the mysteries involved. It’s these carrier neurons & the impulses that make us feel happy, pain, sorrow, joy, madness, fear, frenzy and other human attributes. Brain carrying electrical impulses relentlessly with the speed of 120 meters per second from one end of the body to the other, unstoppably.

Last I remember of my Nous’s unfathomable capabilities was on the morning of 8thMay09. The day when I was coerced to believe that I was getting ready for the day, when I was actually lying in my cozy bed, enjoying my nap. Wakeup alarms on my 2 phones had buzzed 5 times between 6:30 to 6:55 am but to no avail. Having retired late to bed the last night, waking up early in the morning was almost next to impossible. Atleast for me! The late night movie "How to rob a Bank", was intriguing & enchanting making me stick to the idiot box, without moving a part.

The first hum of my phone nearly woke me up from my slumber, but the beats weren’t shrilled enough to break the fortress of my sleep. It was a semi coma state. I had to be in the office early, for an early morning meeting. The central processing unit, made me to get up in but only in the virtuality realm. I was awakened, brushing up my teeth, taking a bath, dressing up, picking up my rucksack & starting for my office. But I was actually lying in my bed, still dreaming and visualizing it all in the dreams. Nothing of it was happening in reality. Suddenly my alarm came alive again, & it was already 6:55am. “Ohhh my, missed the cab” I frowned breaking free from my slumber trammel!! Again the master mind took charge & directed, hey, be laid back & take your own vehicle to the office. It even directed this semi awake torso, to change the time on the timepiece to 8:30 am. Adios world, the teeny weenie brainy is again going sleepy. Let the alarms go off relentlessly but brain is its own king.

Other incidence was that of that during the childhood days. We used to retire after a tiring, playful day at school. When we would wake up, it would be dusk already. If we happened to see through the window, the drowning sun, we would think that it is Dawn. Then we would say “ohh, we have to go to school, are we late, what is the time?” The brain would be completely lost after waking up from the deep slumber and would need some environmental corrections to get itself back on track. But it would be caught unawares again, with volatile previous memory. Everyone around would burst into a croak of laughter, seeing the dumbstruck brain doing it again. It was just so stupid of the master mind to be playful & do the frenzied madness.

Brain ohh my little Marvelous maverick, what wonders you do, just take mE by surprise, off my feet.

People Come People Go

People come people go
You tread the path that's righteous, you know
They will diffuse and dispel in directions galore
You align and steer in the direction of the fore

Don’t you follow thee,
Till u don't know the way thee went
Thee may have departed the defunct and corrupt way
But you stay firm & never go astray

Clothes just a shield from your naked own
Your soul free and open, owning no gown
Just armor, nothing superb or gallant
Your affable soul the only thing valiant

Carry your search through the guiding light
Letting it purify you of all rot
Don't be lost, don't be taint
Stay virginal, unscathed and quaint

Take the virtuousness, & the richness of the supreme
See through the truth and the lightening beam
Kneeling & draining you of all your negativity
Inducing in you vitality and beauty that's serene

Only pure & the unscathed will lead the way
Penance & the wisdom will prow you to bay
Soiled & moiled clothes don't matter much then
What matters is that now you stellate a new ray

Radiating the warmth & the happiness around
Those in proximity, following the suit
Infesting the vicinage at a fast pacy race
Making the whole orb a happy merry place
(Pic: Vindhesh's Gallery)

The Bond of Love

He was all of 9 years old, with not much agility & flexibility either in his body or his arms. His structure was skinny with a layer of epidermal; no extra flab; just the translucent skeletal, and a transparent crystal clear heart. He had inherited his father’s fortune as inheritance. His father’s business and life support was going to be his new venture. Studies were never his forte. He would do anything in this world to give up his studies; his master’s rebuking; pressure from his parents and leg pulling of his peers. Leaving his studies didn’t mean just leaving school; it also meant no more books; no more friends and no more school games and fun. But he had accepted the fact in good spirit, that he was pathetically pathetic at studies.

Shyam had taken up his father’s job and was now the new proud newspaper vendor with monopoly in Sectors 1-10. Waking up at 5:30 am was a religion for him now. Donning his stylish pullover, classy slippers he would head in the direction opposite to that of his school. Finally he had managed to turn his back on his school. Shyam's father was bed ridden because of damaged kidneys, attributed to the excessive alcohol consumption. Shyam was too small to face the world but then somewhere had inner strength to face the riff raff of life. Life spared nobody and it didn’t spare this less privileged kid as well. But that’s what he had sought from God & from life. Lucky he!! He got what he wanted from God & life, freedom from studies.

Shyam was enjoying this new life, every part of it. Even though it was thrusted on him he has accepted it with both arms. School was monotonic and mundane, but newspaper delivery was far more fun. Those were different days, & these are different days now. It was more fun also because of the girl in the corner white house; sector 2; besides Aradhana Cinema.

First time they met, it was a coincidence, coincidence of a collision followed by an explosion. Shyam had thrown the newspaper as usual in the balcony. But Radha was watering the plants that she had planted 1 year back on her birthday. Before going to school everyday she would make sure to nourish & nurture the saplings with a fervent motherly love & caring. Her head was in range of the newspaper’s projectile. The paper landed directly on her head. The newspaper delivered all its kinetic energy onto her head, with a thud. It wasn’t much paining, but more of a shock and seizure. Radha blurted out loud, grabbing attention of her parents.

Shyam stalled, realizing what damage his throw had caused. Radha’s father who had come to her rescue, asked her, what had happened!! Radha pointed towards Shyam. Radha's father with furious eyes, directed Shyam to come upstairs. Shyam was scared, that he would be rebuked, and maybe beaten up too. But it wasn’t Shyam's mistake altogether. Shyam reached the door steps, and Radha's father, who was already at the door, started scolding him. But, he was cut short by Radha, seeking forgiveness for him. Radha's father stopped getting mad on Shyam, and went inside. Radha asked Shyam to wait; hurried inside ans came out with some chocolates. Shyam didn’t accept them at the outset, but Radha forcibly handed them over to him. Radha gave him a smile and then went inside.

Radha had touched Shyam somewhere deep inside, where no body had touched him before, or even tried to!! Shyam had a swarm of feelings for Radha surging in him, the feelings that he had felt for nobody else, ever. Suddenly everything was pleasing and warming for him. Shyam was very happy, often singing; whistling; day dreaming and even dancing when nobody was around. He felt a new wind in his head, often raising his feet up from the ground. He felt like flying.

After his delivery and the house chores, Shyam would come in front of the Aradhana Cinema to get a glimpse of Radha. Seeing Radha walk up to her home with her friends back from school, was an ecstatic and soothing feeling.

One day Shyam summed up enough courage, to give Radha a bundle of roses that he had plucked from the nearby rose park. Radha not only recognized him but also accepted the roses with an innocent smile. Radha introduced Shyam to her friends, as a hero who could javelin throw as far as the horizon. Shyam felt elated and so proud of himself. He never thought of touching the horizon, but now he wanted to do it, and flatter Radha by proving his strength and mettle. He went to the hilltop in the outskirts of the city, and started throwing stones as far as he could, until his slender arms started to ache. He returned home at the fall of dawn.

Radha once asked her father why Shyam didn’t go to school. To this her father simply hushed it by saying that Shyam had the job of collecting all the news in the world and then giving it to all the people in the world. She was so swollen with pride, for her new found friend. She knew that not only was Shyam a good boy, but he was also doing a great job!!

Shyam continued his work of newspaper delivery, and most of his day would pass happily. His feelings for Radha had only become stronger and stronger. His affection so pure and serene, just like that of Lord Krishna for Radha. There was so much that he wanted to tell her, how she had changed his life; bought in a lot of happiness; and transformed him completely. But that day never came, as fate had something else in reserve.

One day Radha's father called up on him, asking him to settle his account, as they were moving to a new place. Shyam was shattered and battered. He settled the accounts with Radha’s father and bought chocolates out of that money. After all, that’s what Radha was fond of. Next day he delivered it to Radha with the newspaper; into the Balcony. Coincidentally Radha who was watering the plants, =picked up the pack. She cut it open and accepted the gist childishly. She waved bye & even whispered thank you Shyam. That was the last time he saw her. Within a week Radha was gone along with her family.

Shyam couldn’t even bid a final good bye to Radha. He was feeling so down trodden, and broke. He felt sluggish, sad and rarely smiled. He was completely caught unawares, and had completely lost focus of his work. He was at a tender age, where his emotional drain could easily make him go haywire and ruin him completely. But the hangover remained for a week or two. It had to go, life had to come back to normal. Life has its own designs of taking you up, and then bringing you down in a vicious circle.

"Change is the only thing that is permanent." He realized this, a very sweet way. It was when he came across Padma, the girl in the blue colored home, in sector 5. He had felt a stronger streak for Padma the moment he saw her. His days returned back to normal. His life had come back to square one, the only difference being his focus shift from the house adjacent to Aradhan Cinema to the new Blue house in Sector 5. Radha was definitely the beginning, but never the end. Shyam was again back on track.
Shyam the boy who delivered newspapers.

"It's just that Love is all around us, we just need to sense it, find it, feel it and fall in it. It is alluring, contagious and irrestibile". Shyam had found love again, without fail.

When rain drenched the Soul

Image by nyki_m via Flickr

Clock had stuck 6 pm, & happy time for the rookies to go home. Suddenly the Sun was shadowed by dark dense clouds, & soon the sky was filled with blitzkrieg. The wind started to blow & the temperature had dipped considerably. Next 15 minutes the Nature’s fury was evident with the heavy lightening & thundering. It was deafening, but not of the same intensity, as the power house at my home. It was a golden opportunity to electrocute and bake your chicken, with the thunder storm. Jokes apart it had become pretty dark but pleasant.
Soon droplets of water started accumulating on the glass panes of the office building. I packed my stuff, & rushed towards the door. I wanted to reach home before the drizzle became a down pour. Marching on my feet, I had become partially wet. The people were running helter-skelter for shelter. In a few moments the rain started to get heavier, & I was completely drenched now.

Water started dripping out of my hair, & I was fastening on my foot, now starting to run. My pace had risen, & so had my breathing. I didn’t know where I was planting my foot, while running. It was as if someone was after my bloody life. Alas!! My foot slipped & the cakewalk had come to a stall. I fell on both my hands on the muddy water. My clothes had gone for a toss, now with mud smeared all over. I stood up, looking for the soiled clothes, & if I had any bruises. None! I thought that now it was no point running back home or trying to catch a taxi back home. Rain was beating hard on my skull, as I trying to play Tabla (musical instrument). I gasped my breath, & controlled the random breathing due to running. I stood there as if the whole world had come to a stand still. the rain drops tried desperately to drench me. But I was already drenched, even the entire sea couldn't drench me anymore. The rain drenched the soil, & the effervescent smell starting arousing out of the Sun baked soil. The smell was so pleasing, that it filled up all the senses.

Clipping all the strings attached, I let myself loose. It was only in school days or college days that, I used to enjoy getting drenched in the rain. Those were different times, but these are different times. But I thought that what had changed, it was the same me, it was the same rain. It was my mind that was blocking me from getting drenched. I told my brain to hush up, & go to sleep. The sound of the rain drops falling all over was like a zillion musicians playing chorus. My feet started to get into the trance, & so did my complete body. Dancing in the rain has its own fun & frolic. It started to wash off all my worries, anxieties, and sorrows. It rejuvenated my soul. I was feeling like thumping & pumping in the potholes filled with water, splashing it in all directions. The Vehicles just passed me by. Other Passerby’s giving me strange stares. Probably my attire, & wasn't mixing well with what I was doing. But little did I care, as I was deeply engrossed in letting myself loose. My clothes clung onto my body. I hadn't even given a thought to my cell phone, which would be the first gadget to get short circuited. I didn’t care about the currency in my wallet. I just had two waterproof things, my epidermal tissue & my Casio Chronograph. But who gave a damn what was waterproof & what wasn't. My arms opened wide towards the sky, welcoming the clouds. It was an invitation to let the clouds drip & gush some water through me & my soul. I realized God gave us arms, to welcome the things with warmth. But with the hectic, monotonous & the vicious life, we had forgotten about the protocol, the warmth & the passion. We had become more of androids, following the same regimen over & over, with little emotional intelligence left.

Both my Shin & skin were wet, but it didn’t give me shivers. It was cleansing all the soot & the dust in my heart, mind & the soul. It just made me more serene & cleaner. It was a complete transformation, a metamorphosis. Somewhere deep, I had got disconnected from my inner roots, my soul, & today the clouds had watered my roots, bringing them back to life. I decided, not to let my soul wither to death, for lack of the life giving water. The kids nearby just wanted a catalyst to jump into the potholes & the stagnated water on the roads. I was their stimulant. Soon the roads turned into a water bed. But the water would recede in some time. I stood there wondering if the feelings would recede too. Or they will stay in my heart, my mind, my soul & my life?

Happy Mother's Day (10.Apr)

Saying goes that "God could not be everywhere, so he created mother". A Mother's love or her kids is unconditional, selfless, boundless, tender & all serene. She shares an infinitesimally unbreakable bond with her kid. She would go to any degree to protect her kids form unwanted danger. Push her to the extremes to give to her kids the best education, values, ethics, morality & upbringing, nourishing & nurturing a sapling, hence letting it grow to a tree. No matter how ruthless or naught the kids are, a mother can never adopt brutal or tyrant methods of mending towards a kid. Remember a father does it often, more often than the mother. She always acts as the armor and shield for her kids, protecting them from any wrath or undesired environs.

We humans learn the first lesson of love by the kiss of out mother. Her hands rock the cradle & life alike tirelessly. Even while giving birth to the kid she goes through a pain of 56db decibels. Human body has an endurance level of 45db (decibels). Even after enduring so much of pain, her joy knows no bounds, and still she is all smiles. Mother is the giver of life. She is the symbol of love, warmth & harmony, strength, patience and all other characteristics. Even if she is stern and strict with her kids, it will always be for the betterment, of her kids. She would never want or like her kids to go haywire. It wouldn't be wrong if we say that "God is omnipresent with us all, in the form of our mother.” No child can ever repay the mother.

Throw out the UPA

Rs 87153.12 crores Looted By The UPA Govt.!

Read the following to know the reasons to throw away the PRESENT Govt.
Lets have a look at where the TAX we pay is MISUSED by PRESENT GOVT.
Do you know what 1Crore looks like? I mean just how many zeroes it has?
1,00,00,000

1) Rs 87153.12 crores is missing as reported in chapter-2 of Comptroller & Auditor Generals report, an official government agency (http://www.cag.gov.in/). And this is just for the years 2007-09! Over the years, how much of our money has been stolen from us?
This is OUR money folks. What we paid this government as tax! Where have they put it? There is simply no answer forthcoming!

2) Aid of Rs 3000 crores to Afghanistan for economic reconstruction. This includes 150 bullet-proof watch towers, 2,500 protective vests, and a lot of mine clearing equipment. Bullet proof watch towers and protective vests are economic reconstruction?
(http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htproc/articles/20061223.aspx)

3) The absolutely pathetic state of the educational infrastructure of all government run institutions hits one right in the face. Now, while education systems are in doldrums, our government gives out money to Harvard and Cambridge universities! How much money? To the tune of Rs 50 crores!
(http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1150356)
Now have a look at how PRESENT GOVT is promoting TERRORIST activities in INDIA.

1) Remember the Mumbai train blasts? Well, around that time India gave financial aid to Pakistan for earthquake relief… Rs150 crores of it! (Aid to the ones responsible for blast!!!)

2) While Pakistan and some other Islamic nations are closing down their Madressas, there is talk of granting CBSE status to Islamic Madressas in India (about half a million in number). Madressas are breeding ground for radical fundamentalist Islam, one that produces terror…
This will ensure that we don't just have corrupt thugs ruling us, we will have well trained jihadi terrorists in parliament AND the bureaucracy!
(http://www.indianexpress.com/news/madrasa-certificates-will-now-be-cbse-equivalent/404478/ and http://www.sanghparivar.org/join-madrasa-why-sit-for-tough-cbse-board-exam)

3) PRESENT GOVT has decided to give pension and jobs to the families of all "Kashmiri Terrorists" who were killed. No help for the Indian soldiers and citizens who have been killed by the terrorists. They say they are being "humane"!! Not for the families of the army people who were killed… not for the families of the kashmiris who were massacred… (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NK6xwFRQ7BQ)

This has to stop, before INDIA becomes the new SAUDI of the planet.
And any government that takes decisions like these needs to be kicked out of power. I don't think even resilient India will ever be able to recover if the present government comes back to power this year.
THE VERY THOUGHT OF PRESENT GOVT COMING BACK TO POWER IS SCARY....
Victory Margins Narrowing, So Every Vote Makes a Difference…..

This is a sincere request to take few minutes of busy schedule to go out and VOTE and VOTE FOR CHANGE.

(By)
ROHANDHARESH@yahoo.co.in

Mad Dog Rush

Why do we carry the burden on our backs all the time? Why the glances on the clock all the time? Why do want to rush to office in the morning, & back to Home in the evening? The answer is “Time”. Time is the binding factor, constraint to the execution of anything in this world. It is a factor both quintessential & critical to any mission, whether small or big.

We hush up & avert things. Without giving heed to the time critical things that are stringent, & should be done right on the dot. Time lost is never found again. The only exception being the time machine. That in itself isn’t a reality, just theoretically proven.

All missions have a time line attached to them. But in maximal cases the time line slips. This leads to a lot of hue & cry putting everything in extreme jeopardy. As we near the completion of the thing with the slipped schedule, we realize that the time we had earlier was the golden time. That time should have been used judiciously, so as to avert this last minute rush. There is a very popular saying that goes as "If you are thirsty, no point digging the well at the eleventh hour". If you are feeling thirsty, you should start digging the well from the first hour itself, & not wait for some miracle to happen. An oasis won’t spring out of the barren. You procrastinate assuming that clouds may drip a drop or two to quench your thirst. Only at a later point of time you realize that the thirst is getting on to the nerves. Impossible to bear anymore, you start digging the well. But when the thirst has battered you, the scorching heat shattered you, how well can you dig the well? When will you be able to get water out of it? In the process you didn’t lose anything (neither your thirst, nor the effort) except for those 11 hours. Mad Dog Rush.

Procrastination is other evil that leads to the mad dog rush. There is a lot of stuff to be done, in a little time already, & you just sit back & chillax. When it comes the nearing time for deliverables, we have none to offer. It only gives us some more frustration, agony, anger, dissatisfaction, tension, anxiety & stress. It’s a severe folly not to use time judiciously. It is the callousness, & carelessness that makes the things messy for us. Had we not been so casual in doing the things, things would have been in better shape & form. It always comes back to us, to haunt us. Exactly similar to the conservation law of energy. Energy transforms from one form to another, it is neither created nor destroyed. Same way, the tasks will remain the constant, they won’t change. But at the end you will have no time to do the stuff that you had to do on top priority. It will create a gory ugly scene in the end. You running pillar to post to get the things done, but messed up big time.

So next time if you want to avoid Mad Dog Rush, pull up your socks fold up your sleeves, & get back to work. Begin when the water is not neck deep. Start flushing the water, so as to save yourself from drowning. Let’s get back to work to kill the Mad Dog Rush.

Strive & Stride

Strive & stride
For the things that are hard
Execute them the way
That none has ever heard

You gotto
Push a little further
All the strength in one shot
You gather & discharge

Just work won’t do
Push work is needed
Hard work is ok
Smart work you need to heed

The plans will be soiled
The readiness going to be foiled
The intentions spoiled
But, never think that the hard work is toiled

Fury in the eyes
Fire in belly
Strike the gong intensely
Make a big noise

Body is drenched
Sweat quenching the thirst
Don't pity yourself
Don’t you rest

Reaching there first
Winning the ascend
Is not the thing
Reaching is first, winning the second

Bruised knee, broken bones
Sighs in voice, pain crossing bounds
Still trudge on
Carry the stuff

No space for distractions
No place for interactions
No enjoying the pleasures
No mesmerizing the desires

If you feel heavy
Empty your head of negative thoughts
They are no good
They just stink & rot

The way may be tough
But you be even more tougher
Don't lay down your weapons
When success is about to happen

The pinnacle is there
Waiting to be conquered
Don't kneel when you reach there
Stand tall, shout & conquer all the fear

Its time to enjoy & rejoice
The climb & the fight
You got what you deserved right
Strive & Stride, Strive & Stride

I am what I am

I am what I am
With my goodness,
With my badness
Accept me as I am

I can’t keep on changing,
Every 2 steps that I walk
Surely not for the people
Backless with no spine

No skin no shin,
Full of mire & grime
Slimy bodies
Soot filled hearts

They say to me all rot
Tell me things that I am not
Don’t they understand?
To them I don’t belong

I don’t explode at their outburst
Their condition is worse than the worst
I hush it all, beneath my feet
Simply frowning in retreat

The only mould that can cast me into form
Is the mould of love
Love with no bounds
Love as mad as the hounds

The mould is cast
Forging me into form
Now I am tensile & ductile
The mould of love giving me a form

Let the mould
Cast its spell
The spell & its charm
Making me transform

Love me the way I am
Love me for what I am

Feel of the Instant

The feelings will come
The feelings will go
Try to be happy
Coz you never know

Life is so short
Things to do a lot
So keep your cool
& you worry not

Don’t look to the top,
When you are only half way around
Just keep in your mind
Where you want to ground (reach)

Don’t see others else you may be sad
For them it was easy, for you it maybe hard
The way to glory
Is no cozy story

Some sail with the wind
& go astray
Some swim against it
To get to the bay

Why are you gloomy?
Why are you sad?
Why the cribbing?
Why are you going mad?

Remember the first day u fell in school
You weeping the same way now, you dumb fool
That day you got up, all by yourself
Without any patronage or any help

Hold on hang on,
That’s all I say
Things will fall in place,
Some day some way

The feelings will come
The feelings will go
Now you be happy
Ohh!! my good friend

Tree of Desire (Kalpa-Vriksha)

Desire is the fuel, the stimulus that drives us humans. Desire & emotional intelligence is the one thing that separates us from the flora & fauna in this world. Animals too have desires, still a debatable topic. But we humans have desires + animal instincts. It is these animal instincts that drive men into crimes & shadowy things. Desires crop out of the five sense that we have. Vision, Hearing, Touch, Taste & Smell. If humans didn’t have the senses & intelligence (mental as well as emotional), we would be no better than dead as dodo androids.

There is a lot that this whole world offers. With such a hostile inviting environment, there is nothing wrong in craving & desiring. In fact this whole is like a Kalpa-Vriksha (The Wish Fulfilling Tree), which can fulfill all our desires. Whether it is the fruits, flowers, shade, oxygen or its own bark, & pulp. Mythology also has reference to the “Kalpa Vriksha”, tree that is the fulfiller of all desires. Even the Australopithecus with no intelligence at all desired to be strongest & the explicit species. Otherwise how can one explain the invention of wheel, fire or the usage of metals to make weapons for hunting? It all came from the desire or one of the instincts.

The tornado of desires keeps us battling & fighting for the things that we want truly, madly, & deeply. Desires from the core of every man’s heart, buried deep inside. Not to be seen, not to be shown, jut known to the person. Everyone right from the kids to the old have desires. Kids desire to be sporty, pampered & adored all the time. They throw tantrums when they don’t get their dose of chocolates or the toys. Don’t they hold you up for a ransom, when they have to do their homework? “Give me a chocolate, and then I will do my homework”. This all comes from desire, & a way to fulfill your desires. Adolescents have the desire to have sex, date the best girl in the batch, to live on the edge, achieve the impossible. Adults have the desire to have a cool, cozy & comfortable life. Others are driven by other desires both on the sane plane, & insane plane. Old people don’t have so much strong a desire. Except for their desire of, getting love, respect & caring from the younger lot. All in all, they all they all have this insatiable desire to be important, to be popular & to be the one with the golden spoon in their mouth. They all want to carve a niche in this world. So, desire, desire, desire, humans.

Desires can be good or bad, real or bogus, strong or laid off. Varies from person to person, depending on what desires are being tamed & cultivated in the deep confines of the heart. Desire it, Achieve it. The desires are predominant, in the people who use a lot of “I want”. This is inferential that, they desire or want many a things from life. They may just crave & desire at all times, not really converting their desires in virtual space, to realities in the materialistic space. Desires when strong have a lot of power that can help us achieve our goals & targets. Goals in the shorter span & targets in the longer span of time space.

Desires without action, are just futile dreams, bound to crash onto ground, & only create rubble. Actions without desires also tend to go haywire. Desires drive us further, propel us, and direct us to the sought out, & the wanted things. Desires help us attain the unachievable, unknown & the impossible. So hold out your hands to the “Kalpa-Vriksha” & let your desires be fulfilled by it. Desire it, Do it, Achieve it.

Till death do us apart

As a kid Arun was very naughty & a menace for the people in and around the society. Arun & I stayed in the same society, studied in the same class in the same school. Having him around had its fair share of advantages & disadvantages. We walked to & fro from school together, like good pals. Yet he would steal my stuff from by pencil box. My pencil, rubber & even my scale wasn’t spared. One day, in sixth standard, during the games period, he took out my lunch box & ate it all, even without a burp. It was not that, he was famished, but another prank to bully at free will. He didn’t stop there. He stuffed the tiffin with grass, & stones. During recess when I opened the tiffin, all the boys who were waiting to see my expressions, started giggling. Expert comments began pouring in “See Neha’s Mom doesn’t love her, she feeds her grass, & stones”, “No Doubt why she is so dumb”, “Is she not her real mother”, “Step Mom’s packed Tiffin”. Being sensitive kinds, I could not bear the humiliation. Yes, I could not bear the brunt of the taunts, & tears started rolling down my cheeks. It was effortless, the hydraulic flow. They say it can even move mountains. I was hurt with the taunts & it pained my heart. It felt as if someone punctured my heart with an arrow.

My emotions were evident. I didn’t revolt, or shout. I was calm & poised except for the tears, making me look like a loser. Arun came over, hushing the boys, & offered me his handkerchief. He said softly "Sorry". I looked up at him, he looked really apologetic with a gloomy face. Smile that was there on his face a while ago had vanished in thin air. I always considered him a good friend, & I least expected him to do this with me. We were still pals thereon, not the best ones though. We had our share of fighting’s & leg pulling. But, he was always watching over my shoulder. When something went out of control, he would come to my rescue, either directly or indirectly. This friendliness was more in actions, than the words.

In ninth standard, his focus had diverged, from studies to sports. Even though I was an above average kid, in studies, but by any means far better than Arun. We, being in the same class, & I being better than Arun in studies made matter worse for him. He would get his dose of scolding & yelling from his parents, always comparing me with him as far as studies went. They would say “See Neha she just fetched 85% marks in the exams, why don’t you study with her, & take help from her… blah blah blah”. Therefore I had become the official bench mark for him. Parents in India usually compare their kids with other’s kids, preaching them, scolding them, or guiding them. No matter what the way, they pressurize the kid to excel & perform better than their counterparts. But that preaching & yelling rarely impacts the children. Even though I was the official yardstick for him, but least did he pay heed to what was spoken.

While in tenth standard, a little bit of maturity & sanity prevailed in Arun, & he started to take his studies seriously. For him serious study was to sit back with the book for not more than an hour. Studying beyond one hour was like overworking your engine, with no fuel left in the tank. He would say that the engine (brain) is over heated & that it would explode. This wasn't going to help him much, & he decided that the easier way out was to do combined study with me. That way he could extract from me the net knowledge, assimilate what all he wanted & could assimilate, & discard the roughage. He was smart at people skills & knew exactly how to take people in his confidence. No doubt he was the most popular guy of our batch. I agreed to the combined studies with him. It helped me to understand the textbooks better, while I would explain it to him. Also it led to my revision. We would begin the studies on a serious note & wind up in a hilarious & sometimes riotous mode. In the process we became very good pals at school as well as in the society. Completely confiding in each other, protective & possessive towards each other. The next 2 years continued like this with our share of fun, frolic, & friendliness. I scored better than him, but his scores had improved a lot. All credit to me, even though he would never admit that. My parents used to nudge me, "Neha combined studies are affecting your performance, & draining you out". But it never was the case really. Combined studies had now become a way of life for me, & what made it more exciting was that, it was with Arun. They say it is not the journey that matters, it’s the company that matters. I had a good company for keeps.

In tandem to the board exam preparations, it was high time to look ahead, & start planning to undertake a professional course after the twelfth standard. Arun as usual had no focus of what he wanted. But yeah, as a kid he always wanted to be a truck driver. He told me once that the trucks are so gigantic & so super, & that only super man or a super hero can drive them. I really don’t know if he still tamed that weird ambition. So I confronted him with this question one day, as to what he is going to do after school. To this he said “Engineering or Medicine isn’t my cup of tea, I will try my hands at being an Air Force Pilot”. I thought that he was overtly being too ambitious, & roared in laughter. He hadn't expected me to behave the same way his parents would behave. He felt very inferior, insignificant & worthless. I sensed the changing color, & muted. He was clearly fed up with people misunderstanding & under estimating him all the time. His parents, relatives, & now me. I couldn’t think of anything at that moment, but I wanted to apologize. I couldn't sum up enough courage to say anything but opened my arms to him, & letting him slide into my arms. He looked on for a moment & finally slid in my arms. The hug had comforted him. He held me back. The hold was warm & compassionate, but friendly at the same time. I whispered in his ears “Sorry Arun”. He just whispered back “Don’t say anything”. We wound up for the day & he left for his home. He didn't attend school for the next three days, nor did I see him anywhere in the society.

After three days I was there at his apartment, knocking at the door. His mother opened the door, & I enquired about Arun's welfare. She directed me to his room, & there he was lying in the stock pile of books on Aptitude & General Knowledge. He said slowly “Air Force is going to recruit, & I am filling up the form. I am going to be a fighter pilot”. His parents were completely unawares of this next move. Being the only kid, he knew he would never be allowed to join the forces, & that there will be lot of hue & cry over this. I confided in him, & encouraged him to give his best shot to it. He was overwhelmed, seeing the compassion in my eyes. He paused for a while & said, “Neha I Love you, I can’t imagine living without you”. The three magical words felt like honey in my ears, my heart skipped a beat, it felt as if the whole universe was revolving around me. It was the happiest day of my life. I ran out of words, perplexed & happy at the same moment. It was like a tempest, where you swing up like skyrocket, & then come down with a thud. I couldn’t say anything. He said “Neha take your time, if you don’t feel for me that way, I will accept the hard fact”. I wanting to shout out loud in jubilation blurted out “Arun I don’t have feelings for you, what are you saying??? Arun I think of you all the time. You are always on my mind than anything else in the entire universe. I love you Arun”. Things were a little different from there, the causal friendship had now become intimate friendship. We shared the study assignments, lunch, the bench in school, confidential stuff, & all the good things. We had our fair share of happiness’s, triumphs, & low times.

Entrance exams pressure & the twelfth standard exams had begun to take a toll on both of us. Arun was preparing to join the Armed Forces & had filled the form. He was fit physically, with a tensile strength unmatched to anyone in his school. He knew in the heart of his heart that he was going to make it. Neha’s support had only strengthened that faith. I was preparing too, for the medical entrance. Finally Arun cracked the Armed Forces entrance. It took him more effort to convince his parents, than it took to crack the Armed Forces exams. With a heavy heart they gave a go ahead to him. In the mean time I also got admission for the MBBS course in one of the reputed colleges in Delhi. I was elated at getting into a field of my choice & that too in my hometown. Arun had to join the National Defense Academy & be inducted for the Air Force Training at one of the Training Stations in India. We both had to tread different paths now, but we vowed to keep in touch on regular basis. We had become a part & parcel for each other, but with his stringent military training, Arun wasn't able to keep up the vows. Life went on like this, some vows were met some broken. New vows made. The communication barrier was getting deeper & deeper, with Arun’s demanding training & my burdening MBBS studies & the practicals. But we still loved each other, beyond egos, beyond demands, beyond selfishness. Not a day went when I didn't think of him, or miss him.

Time flew by & Arun passed out as a Fighter Pilot from the Academy. It was a day of jubilation & celebration. He had applied for a leave of 1 month, before he could be commissioned with one of the troops & be allotted his place of reporting. Finally we were together again. The old times, joys, unsaid words they were all coming to the forefront. I bunked my classes just to be with him, all the time. So much was to be said, & time seemed to just fly by. His presence made me feel complete, filling all voids in me. I felt on Cloud #9. I felt so secure & so happy with him.

During that 1 Month, the tension between India & its neighboring archrivals Pakistan & China had mounted to unsurpassable levels. Both the sides were treading on a thread that would break loose anytime. The borders had become a complete battle zone. Militarization of the no man’s land had begun. All the defense personnel were ordered to report back to their bases. Arun also received his orders to report at the Neoma Air base in Ladakh. The war on the border had caught momentum, due to the infiltration into the Indian side, by Pakistan from North West side & Chinese Militia from the North East. The situation along the Pakistan border was under control, but India was losing to the Chinese Militia on the north East side. The weather was rough, & the terrain even rougher. Arun knew that the return may never be. But during his 3 last days of stay with his parents, he didn't even sigh about it. I could sense that something was bothering him. I asked him, but he hushed it under wraps.

I was accompanying him to the airport, from where he was to catch the military plane to Srinagar, Kashmir. He was his usual self, all the way to the airport. He made sure that I carried good memories back home. He bid bye to me & I hugged him so hard, so as never to let him go. His eyes became damp. I pestered him to tell me, what was bothering him. He held my hand & said “Neha there have been heavy casualties in the Indian Air Force. Air Force is losing out because of the strategic positioning, advanced artillery & anti aircraft missiles of the Chinese. They are wreaking havoc. Neha I don’t want to say it, but there seems to be no return for me”. Neha was dumbstruck, & paralyzed, knowing not what to say. Going to the war front meant, making a death wish that would get granted too. She was helpless & in pain. She couldn’t move a part. He left my hand, & said “Neha I want you to know, that no matter what happens, I will always love you.............”. After a pause he said “Till death do us apart”, & he went out of her sight.