Till death do us apart

As a kid Arun was very naughty & a menace for the people in and around the society. Arun & I stayed in the same society, studied in the same class in the same school. Having him around had its fair share of advantages & disadvantages. We walked to & fro from school together, like good pals. Yet he would steal my stuff from by pencil box. My pencil, rubber & even my scale wasn’t spared. One day, in sixth standard, during the games period, he took out my lunch box & ate it all, even without a burp. It was not that, he was famished, but another prank to bully at free will. He didn’t stop there. He stuffed the tiffin with grass, & stones. During recess when I opened the tiffin, all the boys who were waiting to see my expressions, started giggling. Expert comments began pouring in “See Neha’s Mom doesn’t love her, she feeds her grass, & stones”, “No Doubt why she is so dumb”, “Is she not her real mother”, “Step Mom’s packed Tiffin”. Being sensitive kinds, I could not bear the humiliation. Yes, I could not bear the brunt of the taunts, & tears started rolling down my cheeks. It was effortless, the hydraulic flow. They say it can even move mountains. I was hurt with the taunts & it pained my heart. It felt as if someone punctured my heart with an arrow.

My emotions were evident. I didn’t revolt, or shout. I was calm & poised except for the tears, making me look like a loser. Arun came over, hushing the boys, & offered me his handkerchief. He said softly "Sorry". I looked up at him, he looked really apologetic with a gloomy face. Smile that was there on his face a while ago had vanished in thin air. I always considered him a good friend, & I least expected him to do this with me. We were still pals thereon, not the best ones though. We had our share of fighting’s & leg pulling. But, he was always watching over my shoulder. When something went out of control, he would come to my rescue, either directly or indirectly. This friendliness was more in actions, than the words.

In ninth standard, his focus had diverged, from studies to sports. Even though I was an above average kid, in studies, but by any means far better than Arun. We, being in the same class, & I being better than Arun in studies made matter worse for him. He would get his dose of scolding & yelling from his parents, always comparing me with him as far as studies went. They would say “See Neha she just fetched 85% marks in the exams, why don’t you study with her, & take help from her… blah blah blah”. Therefore I had become the official bench mark for him. Parents in India usually compare their kids with other’s kids, preaching them, scolding them, or guiding them. No matter what the way, they pressurize the kid to excel & perform better than their counterparts. But that preaching & yelling rarely impacts the children. Even though I was the official yardstick for him, but least did he pay heed to what was spoken.

While in tenth standard, a little bit of maturity & sanity prevailed in Arun, & he started to take his studies seriously. For him serious study was to sit back with the book for not more than an hour. Studying beyond one hour was like overworking your engine, with no fuel left in the tank. He would say that the engine (brain) is over heated & that it would explode. This wasn't going to help him much, & he decided that the easier way out was to do combined study with me. That way he could extract from me the net knowledge, assimilate what all he wanted & could assimilate, & discard the roughage. He was smart at people skills & knew exactly how to take people in his confidence. No doubt he was the most popular guy of our batch. I agreed to the combined studies with him. It helped me to understand the textbooks better, while I would explain it to him. Also it led to my revision. We would begin the studies on a serious note & wind up in a hilarious & sometimes riotous mode. In the process we became very good pals at school as well as in the society. Completely confiding in each other, protective & possessive towards each other. The next 2 years continued like this with our share of fun, frolic, & friendliness. I scored better than him, but his scores had improved a lot. All credit to me, even though he would never admit that. My parents used to nudge me, "Neha combined studies are affecting your performance, & draining you out". But it never was the case really. Combined studies had now become a way of life for me, & what made it more exciting was that, it was with Arun. They say it is not the journey that matters, it’s the company that matters. I had a good company for keeps.

In tandem to the board exam preparations, it was high time to look ahead, & start planning to undertake a professional course after the twelfth standard. Arun as usual had no focus of what he wanted. But yeah, as a kid he always wanted to be a truck driver. He told me once that the trucks are so gigantic & so super, & that only super man or a super hero can drive them. I really don’t know if he still tamed that weird ambition. So I confronted him with this question one day, as to what he is going to do after school. To this he said “Engineering or Medicine isn’t my cup of tea, I will try my hands at being an Air Force Pilot”. I thought that he was overtly being too ambitious, & roared in laughter. He hadn't expected me to behave the same way his parents would behave. He felt very inferior, insignificant & worthless. I sensed the changing color, & muted. He was clearly fed up with people misunderstanding & under estimating him all the time. His parents, relatives, & now me. I couldn’t think of anything at that moment, but I wanted to apologize. I couldn't sum up enough courage to say anything but opened my arms to him, & letting him slide into my arms. He looked on for a moment & finally slid in my arms. The hug had comforted him. He held me back. The hold was warm & compassionate, but friendly at the same time. I whispered in his ears “Sorry Arun”. He just whispered back “Don’t say anything”. We wound up for the day & he left for his home. He didn't attend school for the next three days, nor did I see him anywhere in the society.

After three days I was there at his apartment, knocking at the door. His mother opened the door, & I enquired about Arun's welfare. She directed me to his room, & there he was lying in the stock pile of books on Aptitude & General Knowledge. He said slowly “Air Force is going to recruit, & I am filling up the form. I am going to be a fighter pilot”. His parents were completely unawares of this next move. Being the only kid, he knew he would never be allowed to join the forces, & that there will be lot of hue & cry over this. I confided in him, & encouraged him to give his best shot to it. He was overwhelmed, seeing the compassion in my eyes. He paused for a while & said, “Neha I Love you, I can’t imagine living without you”. The three magical words felt like honey in my ears, my heart skipped a beat, it felt as if the whole universe was revolving around me. It was the happiest day of my life. I ran out of words, perplexed & happy at the same moment. It was like a tempest, where you swing up like skyrocket, & then come down with a thud. I couldn’t say anything. He said “Neha take your time, if you don’t feel for me that way, I will accept the hard fact”. I wanting to shout out loud in jubilation blurted out “Arun I don’t have feelings for you, what are you saying??? Arun I think of you all the time. You are always on my mind than anything else in the entire universe. I love you Arun”. Things were a little different from there, the causal friendship had now become intimate friendship. We shared the study assignments, lunch, the bench in school, confidential stuff, & all the good things. We had our fair share of happiness’s, triumphs, & low times.

Entrance exams pressure & the twelfth standard exams had begun to take a toll on both of us. Arun was preparing to join the Armed Forces & had filled the form. He was fit physically, with a tensile strength unmatched to anyone in his school. He knew in the heart of his heart that he was going to make it. Neha’s support had only strengthened that faith. I was preparing too, for the medical entrance. Finally Arun cracked the Armed Forces entrance. It took him more effort to convince his parents, than it took to crack the Armed Forces exams. With a heavy heart they gave a go ahead to him. In the mean time I also got admission for the MBBS course in one of the reputed colleges in Delhi. I was elated at getting into a field of my choice & that too in my hometown. Arun had to join the National Defense Academy & be inducted for the Air Force Training at one of the Training Stations in India. We both had to tread different paths now, but we vowed to keep in touch on regular basis. We had become a part & parcel for each other, but with his stringent military training, Arun wasn't able to keep up the vows. Life went on like this, some vows were met some broken. New vows made. The communication barrier was getting deeper & deeper, with Arun’s demanding training & my burdening MBBS studies & the practicals. But we still loved each other, beyond egos, beyond demands, beyond selfishness. Not a day went when I didn't think of him, or miss him.

Time flew by & Arun passed out as a Fighter Pilot from the Academy. It was a day of jubilation & celebration. He had applied for a leave of 1 month, before he could be commissioned with one of the troops & be allotted his place of reporting. Finally we were together again. The old times, joys, unsaid words they were all coming to the forefront. I bunked my classes just to be with him, all the time. So much was to be said, & time seemed to just fly by. His presence made me feel complete, filling all voids in me. I felt on Cloud #9. I felt so secure & so happy with him.

During that 1 Month, the tension between India & its neighboring archrivals Pakistan & China had mounted to unsurpassable levels. Both the sides were treading on a thread that would break loose anytime. The borders had become a complete battle zone. Militarization of the no man’s land had begun. All the defense personnel were ordered to report back to their bases. Arun also received his orders to report at the Neoma Air base in Ladakh. The war on the border had caught momentum, due to the infiltration into the Indian side, by Pakistan from North West side & Chinese Militia from the North East. The situation along the Pakistan border was under control, but India was losing to the Chinese Militia on the north East side. The weather was rough, & the terrain even rougher. Arun knew that the return may never be. But during his 3 last days of stay with his parents, he didn't even sigh about it. I could sense that something was bothering him. I asked him, but he hushed it under wraps.

I was accompanying him to the airport, from where he was to catch the military plane to Srinagar, Kashmir. He was his usual self, all the way to the airport. He made sure that I carried good memories back home. He bid bye to me & I hugged him so hard, so as never to let him go. His eyes became damp. I pestered him to tell me, what was bothering him. He held my hand & said “Neha there have been heavy casualties in the Indian Air Force. Air Force is losing out because of the strategic positioning, advanced artillery & anti aircraft missiles of the Chinese. They are wreaking havoc. Neha I don’t want to say it, but there seems to be no return for me”. Neha was dumbstruck, & paralyzed, knowing not what to say. Going to the war front meant, making a death wish that would get granted too. She was helpless & in pain. She couldn’t move a part. He left my hand, & said “Neha I want you to know, that no matter what happens, I will always love you.............”. After a pause he said “Till death do us apart”, & he went out of her sight.