Sunday, June 4, 2017

That moment

That awkward moment - when you are singing along with the music system and suddenly the power goes off, you continue singing, only to realize that your voice sucks.

That triumphant moment when the soap slips out of your hand and you grab it like the Kung-Fu Pandaaa.... yeeeeaaa hooooooo

Loser’s team in football

Football always has been my favorite sport. My school had a football field partly grassy, partly bald, and we had vowed to make it fully bald. Given a chance I would have gone to school, to play just football, putting my books in the fireplace – ‘ouch that burnt’. Even the harsh Delhi heat at 45oC couldn’t stop us from playing. I used to be extra happy on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s; it was the sport’s day. Rest of the days we had to sit on our benches half-sleepy, half-awake, as if in a state of trance.  
We had a basketball court, 2 volley ball courts, full-fledged gymnasium and a badminton court in the school, but my favorite sport was football. My signature football gear was a pair of leather ‘Bata’ shoes, shorts and the school T-Shirt. The leather shoes were a part of the school uniform. During those days football studs would have been a luxury, I suppose. Today I see kids, flashing their cool Nike football studs, even though they can't kick properly; they would be happier playing a video game or two on their mobiles or iPads.  
The school football ground was no less than a battleground. You could actually envision it somewhat akin to the movie 'Saving Private Ryan'. Just that the target here was to save the goal, and to kick the ball into the opponent’s net. The bald portion of the ground would give way to a lot of dust, making it a scene close to that of a bomb blast, and people running amok. You could also see people kicking each other in the butt, if the ball was tackled away from them. All in all it was a fun filled game, though a bit aggressive at times. Yes, we were at full liberty to use our aggression to our advantage, and to the disadvantage of the enemy.
Many tactics were used - fair / unfair to score a goal, whether it be pushing, shoving, shouting while getting hold of the ball, or purposefully hitting someone in the crouch - ouch that hurt (no wonder 'crouch' was called just that - "crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-ouch").
If by chance I would reach the ground a little late, I would first enquire the score, and then choose to be on the losing team’s side. Common sense - losing team is weaker, and would need to push really hard to score a goal; and there I was, the ‘messiah’ who would bring the losing team their much anticipated ‘nirvana’. Siding with the losing team would also give me the opportunity to play my best, whether in defense or in offence position. I would usually play in the defense, and was considered a formidable wall against all attacks. But, at times I would play in the attacking positing, and my attacking was just that - attacking!
We would put in our best to score a goal; sometimes we would win and sometimes we would lose. If we won we would take the heroic compliments, for fighting the war so well. If we would lose, we would save the grudge for another day.
It’s been many years that I am out of school now; but I still play football with my office folks. Though a lot has changed now; the patchy bald field has given way to the turf with artificial grass, fancy lights and stands. The full-fledged football ground has given way to a much smaller 100x50 feet ground (roughly 1/4th of the full-fledged football ground). But, the love for football is never ending and never dying.
You can take a footballer out of the ground, but you can’t take football out of a footballer.
And yes, I am not one of those footballers who watch football on their idiot boxes, like a couch potato, and wear football jerseys supporting their respective teams. That seems melodramatically disconnected and disoriented. My love is much more serious, damn serious… Goallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...
A true footballer!

Hukus Bukus (Kashmiri poem)

Hukus bukus
Telli wann che kus
Onum batta lodum daeg
Shaal kich kich waangano
Brahmi charas pone chhokum
Brahmis buttney tekhis tyakha

Itkhyan ne Itkhyan
Tse Kus Be Kus
Teli Wan su Kus
Moh Batuk Logum Daeg
Shwaas Khich Khich Wang-mayam
Bhruman daras Pone chokum
Tekis Takya bane Tyuk


Who cuts sliced cake on a birthday?

It was my coworker’s birthday on 21st May; and we decided to celebrate it with lot of pomp and show. Actually 21st May was his birth date only on the papers; the actual biological birthday was something else. I used to take a dig at him, by saying that - after the gods you are the only one who is born twice.   
I decided to do something wacky on his birthday, to show him how special he was to me and how much I cherished his friendship. I bought him a sliced cake instead of the fresh cream cake. ‘Yes’ you heard it right “Sliced cake”. 
I invited the whole team to the conference room, for the cake cutting.  As soon as people poured in, they broke out into a roar of laughter; on seeing the sliced cake on the table, with 2 candles neatly placed on either side of the cake. It was fun to see people laughing their heart out during the office hours.
We clicked a lot of photos of the birthday boy and then asked him to deliver a birthday speech. He obliged, and spoke about how much embarrassed and happy he felt at the same time.
It did not stop there! After the cake was cut and shutterbug did its work, we wanted to give birthday bumps to the big boy. But, he started throwing tantrums like a kid; he started running all over the place, as if we would crush his balls with our Shaolin soccer kicks!
Happy birthday dear! Muah J