Of all things Kashmiri

1. You speak in a way that is called ‘Kaye-gee’, speaking in a manner that is satirical, and unfathomable.
1. You won’t speak in your own mother tongue, because you feel embarrassed.
2. The only Kashmiri song that you know of is the popular Bhajan that your parents used to sing while praying.
3. If a known person goes abroad, all relatives think that he/she is making a fortune there, and sending in kick backs via Hawala.
4. The first thing that you look for, in a marriage card is the surname of the Boy / Girl, to check if it is an inter caste marriage or not.
5. If it is an inter-caste marriage you just toss the card on the table. If its not, you read the details completely and plan to attend with enthusiasm (of course).
6. You are not interested to marry a Kashmiri Boy/ Girl, because of reasons that I myself could not fathom.
7. You are to dance on Mehndiraat’s more likely on a Bollywood number than on authentic Kashmiri songs.
8. You are a loud mouth. When 2 people are talking, the whole neighborhood would know.
9. If you live in a non Kashmiri neighborhood, half of the time neighbors think that you are having a fight.
10. The only time you meet someone is when it is someone’s marriage.
11. If you happen to meet a distant relative of yours at a function that first questin that will pop up in front of you is “Did you recognize me? Who am I, do you know?” You are left dumbfound.
12. You have a whacky sense of humor.
13. Your mom thinks that you are no less than Akshay Kumar in looks, and thinks superficially high of you.
14. You have 2 Papa’s, 3 Badey Papa’s, 2 Choti Mummy’s, 1 Badi Mummy, and 25 cousins, of whom you won’t even know half that well.
15. You give more importance to money than the social life.
16. Women only wear Kashmiri jewellery during marriages.
17. If you call up your relatives on phone, they would definitely ask you, ‘what was up for lunch or dinner’.
18. Going back to Kashmir is no more than a good vacation well spent. It no more means home coming.
19. The greatest festival is Shivratri, and actually means the kids getting richer the next day.
20. If you cook any Kashmiri cuisine, it is a special feast.
21. You love to eat Yellow rice balls, with curd and sugar on birthdays.
22. You will not pass on your culture to your kids either in form of edification, music, arts, food et al.
23. You will recognize a Kashmiri in a crowd, but will barely go and talk to them.
24. Kashmiri abuses (actually slangs), would soon be archived for non-usage by the UNESCO. Because now you rarely use these slangs.
25. You still brand a person based on his surname, ‘villager’ / ‘priest’ etc.
26. You believe in a lot of superstitions that have been fed in to our cerebrum since childhood.
27. If the elder generation sees another Kashmiri in a public place, they Switch on their Bluetooths to pair with each other; and actually find out, that they are related by nth order of 'x'.