Friday, November 23, 2007

Love Feeling Relation

It was a Bright June sunny day & the first Day of my college. Everything there was new, new Face’s, new Teacher’s, new Beginning’s & the spectacular new College Building. It was a refreshing break from the Monotonic School Life, No Uniform, No more Homework & some Freedom from the Parents too. In the Lunch Break I came out with a new Pal to look around the campus. There were some seniors surrounding the new students & many more moving here & there carefree. One Senior Student came to us & asked for our Intro, Told us to sing some Songs & Crack a Joke. Meanwhile Some more Students surrounded us & asked us to say some obscene things, But this Guy dared everyone to behave, & asked us to leave.
That night I kept on thinking only about this guy. Next day of the College was normal since Ragging was banned & the next whole month passed on like normal. My eyes would often search for that guy but I could see him only 2 - 3 times. It was the Exam Result’s day for the seniors & some Karun Verma had topped the University & the College, that too by a Margin of 10% than the 2nd Topper. The seniors came out in the Ground with that guy on their shoulders & someone shouted “Karun Break all the Records”. “Ooooh My God, that Guy is the Topper” I said to myself. Now I could get what was so Unforgettable about him, His Charismatic face, the Shine in his Eyes & the smile he always used to carry on his Lips, as someone carries his Wallet in his Pocket.
I was so excited about him & that Day not one moment went, without his thought. I felt myself being pulled towards him Like a Magnet. I began making friends with the seniors in his class, Karun was a gem of a guy, all the girls in the college loved him deep inside their hearts. He was Handsome, Dressed Decently & Talked very softly. He used to spend most of his time in the Library & remained till late in his lab’s doing Experiments keenly. Soon I decided, I had to talk to him & make Friends with him. So one day I waited for him in the Lab Corridor, he came from the Lab very late but didn’t see me. I interrupted him from the back “Hi Karun”. He turned back & Hailing a Smile said “Hi, How are you doing?”. I said “I am fine. (After a Pause I said) Karun you owe me something”. He asked “What?”. I said “ Karun that day the Ragging was very painful & you owe me a nice treatment now, so join me for a Coffee”.
He thought for a moment & without being apprehensive said, “Fine Let’s go”.
He went on to get his Bike But I insisted that we walk. He discussed everything, His Background, His Likes Dislikes, & the Studies in the college etc, looking straight in my eyes, & there I was just Staring at him & Adoring his Persona from Inside. We sat there talking for a pretty long time & then he told me that it was his Exam Tomorrow & that he spared this time because he didn’t want to hurt her Feelings again. I insisted that if he would have told me, we could have gone some other Day. I called him up in the evening & asked about his Preparations & he was a lot Confused & Bit tired too, so I consoled him to keep his Cool & do as much as he can. Luckily he fared well in the Exams & Thanked me for comforting him during Preparations.
From that day on we would talk for a long time, Discuss, Crack Jokes & finally leave. But I was falling badly in Love with him, I would Wake Up thinking about him, Sleep Thinking about him, Dress the way he would Like. The twinkle in my eyes, and the smile on my lips never Dried as long as I thought about him. It was the Friendship day in the college, I wanted to say a Lot but couldn’t dare say it all. After the College was over he called me & asked me to meet at the cafeteria & gave me a Rose, with a note saying “I never intend to hurt anybody, but if in any way I hurt you, I am really very sorry”. I was overwhelmed & couldn’t resist the feelings inside anymore, Tears rolled down my cheeks, I stood up & hugged him hard so as to never let him go. He comforted me & in a Whisper I said “Karun I love you”. He was Startled at first, & he backed off, saying “I think you are not mature enough to restrain yourself from falling off into such a Stupid thing, I have no time for it. My career is my First Priority & nothing can come in between, Not even you”. I was shackled & in pure shambles. My whole world came to a Standstill, & I felt as if the Land had swayed off from, below my feet. But I took my time to reset myself & move on with my Life. But in some Space of my Heart I had this feel that there is something still left out.
I rarely saw him 15-20 times till December. January screwed us in the Exams & College Reopened. On Valentine’s Day I got a message from someone, to meet in the Lab Corridor at 6:45, I tried to ignore but something inside, made me go there. I was waiting in the Lab Corridor & someone from my back said “Hi”. I turned back to see Karun Standing there, with his usual Charisma & Fervor, but he was carrying this unusual smile on his face. I said “Hi Karun How are you doing”. He reiterated “I am not fine, I hurt you again that day in the cafĂ© & since then I have not been able to forgive myself. I thought of you & now, I not only respect you but I also Love you Priya”, handing over a Rose & Chocolates to me. He opened his arms inviting me to sink in them & I fell deep into them with tears in my eyes. That day we talked & talked. I was the happiest person on earth, having found all that I desired. Just being with him gave me this sense of security that nothing would ever go wrong.
It kept going on like this for a long time thereon, everyone knew of our Love, some Girls were even jealous of me. Karun was aggressively Ambitious & belonged to a very Rich family too. He finished College & Joined a Very Big MNC as a Researcher & did his Masters along with. He grew fast in the Co. & rose to the post of Company Group Leader, but his Job was very Monotonic, Managing all the things for his Group, while he wanted to do some Hands on work. Even I finished College in between & joined a Small co. in Research.
One day out of the Blue, he Popped up the big question, "Girl, will you marry me?". Marry You!!!! Gosh, I've been waiting for it for so long now, & this man here is asking me “will you marry Me”. It was the second happiest day of my life, My Joy knew no bounds. Initially Karun’s Parents were opposed to the Match since Karun Belonged to a very Rich Family, But Finally they agreed after meeting me. The marriage was fixed for 5.April.
Karun being dissatisfied with his Job began searching for some way-out for his Potential to be Exploited & sooner a Job offer from America along with a Green card Visa Came in handy, this was Core Research Work. That’s what Karun had always wanted to do. He had to leave on 1.August & it was Impossible for him to Delay it no matter what may come. He asked me to get married to him in a Small Temple & Move permanently to America. But maybe he was being Selfish & Blind Folded by this Tempting Job Offer. His parents Tried convincing him to Stay back & Look after the Family Business, But He would listen to nobody. I was the only daughter of my Parents & was closely attached to them, so they wanted me to stay in the same town after getting married. I asked Karun to reconsider his decision, but he was Very Apprehensive to answer me back & left out in a great Hurry. It was known to me that, Career was his first Priority. He decided to leave. Without giving a Thought to my Love, my feelings & our Relation & leaving behind everything that he had gathered in the past 25 Years. My whole world crashed in front of my eyes & I could do nothing, but Stand Helpless.
So he left & once again he bruised my heart, but I without saying a word, smothered in this pain & choked myself when I would get the Fits of Crying. Sometimes a Tear would Roll Down my Cheek, or the Moments we spent together would come in Front of me, freezing me, Incapacitating & Parallalizing me. Something inside me was very hollow & was biting me. But Life went on. There was none with whom I could share this Pain. I loved him and if he had loved me he would have compromised, but he didn’t. I thought from Inside maybe my Love was not that Strong so as to make him stay back. But Slowly & Steadily I learned to live up with the whole Situation & came to terms with my Life.
It was Thursday, September11, I came back from my office pretty early & switched on the TV, & to my shock what I saw was that the Twin Trade Centers had been attacked. I stopped for a moment & recollected - Karun’s Office too was in the Trade Centers. I called up His Parents, they were in the middle of some party & totally ignorant about it. I told them every thing, they Confirmed that Karun’s office was in the Trade Center. I asked them to confirm about Karun’s well being. It was too noisy in the party & the noises on the phone made me go crazy. In a Fraction of a Seconds, all the Good Times we spent Together, Flashed in front of my Eyes, I was in Deep Pain, & Tears Rolled down my Cheek. After 10 minutes I called his Parent’s again, & they told me that his Mobile was Unreachable. Next day his parent’s received a call from the Indian Embassy in America that Karun was in the Trade Center when the Accident took place, & that Karun had stayed in his Office for the past 3 days doing his work that was always his First Priority.
I always wish that he was here for Me to See, Love, Adore, Talk, Share my Ups & Downs. After all life is not all about ambitions, making it Big & Prioritizing your work more than Your Love, Your Family & Your Friends.

Amit.S

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