Kashmiri Marriage

Well marriage as you know is all about dancing, singing, indulging in food, looking beautiful, meeting people, cracking jokes, having fun & loads of preparation. To make this scoop, all the ingredients have to be put in the right quantities. Kashmiri marriages last long, real long. This big fat marriage affair could last for anywhere from 4 days to 20 days. The various ceremonies that have to carried forth are the:

Livun >> Livun is an exceptional ritual prevalent only in the Kashmiri wedding. In it the cleaning of the place takes place, followed by worshipping of the deities. Since many close relatives & cousins are around it is followed by singing folk songs & dancing.

Ver >> The Paternal Aunt’s will prepare Ver (Similar to Rice khichdi) on the marriage day. This Ver will then be distributed to all the relatives. The Waza (traditional cook) will prepare Kashmiri delicacies along with the Ver.

Krool Khanun >> Krool Khanun is a ceremony in which the respective Aunts & cousins will decorate the entrance doors of the house, writing on it ‘Bride weds Groom, using different colors & designs on the entrance walls.

Devagon >> Devgon is the havan which is performed before the marriage. In this Havan, prayers are offered by both the bride and the groom & it transfers them from the Brahmacharya to the Grihasta Ashram. In this the gold jewellery is also worshipped & put on the bride. These prayers are offered essentially to Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati.

Mehndiraat >> In the evening there will be elaborate rituals. Respective maternal aunts will wash the Bride’s & Groom’s feet. Then the respective eldest paternal aunt will apply Mehandi on the hands and feet of the bride & the groom. Then the respective paternal aunts will distributes the Mehendi or to all the relatives present, who in turn give her money for the Mehandi.

Yagnopavit >> This is one of the sacred thread ceremonies, conducted before the marriage. In it a sacred thread (Yoni), is put across the body of the boy, & marks his becoming a Pandit (or a Brahmin, Kashmiri Pandit). This involves a day long havan & the groom collects money to pay Guru dakshina (fees) to his Guru, from whom he gets the Diksha (supreme knowledge). The Guru also tells him a Guru Mantra of (Om Boor Bawa Swaha, Tasa vita Varenayam, Bhargo Dimahase, Diyo yo na Pracho daya). The head of the boy is tonsured. The ceremony ends with the termination of the full day of fasting & dressing up the groom in new clothes, & going to the temple. The ceremony is a elaborate one, & involves offering prayers to the various gods while chanting Swaha (offering to all the lords at once).

Lagan >> The lagan is fixed at the nighttime (rotlagan) or daytime (dohlagan). All invitees will assemble at the groom’s residence, & move on to the marriage venue. This will again be a length affair, followed by the Jaimala (bride & groom garlanding each other). Then begins the 7 feras (rounds around the fire), taking vows of living together forever, looking after each other. This also involves the bride changing her Gothra from that of her parent’s to that of her husband’s gothra. The Gorr (priest) will direct them about their duties towards each other & towards others (parents). Then, there will be Athwas in which bride & groom will cross their arms one over the other and hold hands. And their hands will be covered with a cloth. A golden thread called Mananmal will be tied to their foreheads. After this, the left foot of bride & groom, would be kept one upon the other, and placed on a kajwat (a grinding stone used in Kashmiri kitchens). The first round (phera) around the sacred fire would be made by stepping on seven one-rupee coins of silver (placed in a circle), while the other six rounds will be done to the chant of mantras. This will be followed by the Posh Pooza, in which bride & the groom will be flanked with a red cloth, & flowers will be put on them, signifying the unification of Shiv & Shakti. Bride & the groom will finally feed each other some food (essentially rice). The ceremony ends with the bride’s father doing kanyadaan, & taking a pledge from the groom, that he will look after their daughter with utmost care & love.

Vidai >> Vidai or departing will happen with bride & the groom standing on the Vyuhug (Grond decorated with different colors). They will be fed with sweets. The departing involves a lot of nostalgia, & emotions come out in form of tears. Bride & the groom would then go to a temple to get the blessings of the god in this new beginning of life.

Satraat >> Bride & the groom would then go to Bride’s parent's house for dinner the same evening of the marriage, & may probably stay back for the night.

Honeymoon >> Aah se aaha tak

(Image Courtesy: Neeraj & Suparna Wedding)